Former Syracuse AD Mark Coyle May In Fact Be a Malfunctioning Robot

I know, I know. Let's leave Mark Coyle alone and move on. Sure, he bailed on Syracuse just a year after taking the job (actually just a few months if you work out the real timeline), but whatever, it's just business.

I agree.

But also, you gotta read this interview he just did with the Star Tribune.

Guys, I think Mary Coyle might be a robot and he may be malfunctioning. When you compare this intro interview to his intro interviews when he arrived at SU, it's a little creepy how closely they match up.

On why he ended up there:

Minnesota: "You know, it has been great to be back. Having been here from 2001 to 2005, it was such a special place for us...it’s really special to be back at a place that feels like home to us."

Syracuse: "Syracuse is a special place. It's a special place because of its history and tradition. It's a special place and it's going to go through transition."

What he's been doing since arriving:

Minnesota: "The big thing is I have been doing a lot of listening. I want to listen to the staff and I want to listen to our coaches. I’ve been meeting with our senior staff, our coaches, to get a feel for the department...I want to make sure we do everything we can to support our coaches and our students so they can compete at a high level."

Syracuse: "It’s my job to come in here, like I mentioned earlier, and listen to staffs, and listen to coaches, and listen to student-athletes, and then I can start to put my fingerprints on some of the things I want to do to help this department moving forward."

What he needs to do:

Minnesota: "I want to make sure we do everything we can to support our coaches and our students so they can compete at a high level."

Syracuse: "My job is to put our student-athletes and our coaching staff in the best possible position so they can win at the highest level and more importantly graduate our student-athletes at the highest level."

Also, the fuck question is this, Sid Hartman?

Are you glad now you left Syracuse?

Ohhh, cause Minneapolis is Valhalla... Anyway, how'd Coyle answer that.

Syracuse was very special. The chancellor back there was unbelievable to me and very understanding. I’m going to be grateful for the time. All of our coaches back there from coach [Jim] Boeheim and all of the other coaches were so welcoming to me and my family and it was hard to say goodbye to Syracuse. But this place we consider home and it’s really special to be back at a place that feels like home to us.

Ultimately, we got out-special placed. We're "very special," but Minnesota is "really special." And as we all know, Really Special trumps Very Special, but neither of them beat Four of a Kind.