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Hoya Suxa Presents: Holiday Gift Ideas for the Hoyas in Your Life

‘Tis the season!

Hoya Suxa, the website, no longer exists. Hoya Suxa, the person, still exists. He'll be writing literary masterpieces ahead of the Syracuse-Georgetown game. Abigail Adams is our guide: "I have been to Georgetown and felt all that [a friend] described when she was a resident there. It is the very dirtiest hole I ever saw for a place of any trade, or respectability of inhabitants. . . ."

— Flesh wounds.

— A Neck Punch o' the Month Club membership.

— Molotov eggnogs.

— Spackle to fill the hole in their chest where a soul should be.

— A dreamcatcher that only allows thoughts of off-the-rack suits through.

— A plush toy of their favorite Sesame Street character: Smugaluffagus.

— A copy of "Self-Immolation and You: For the Greater Good."

— A handwritten Christmas card/ransom note wishing for a blessed holiday season/a bag filled with $500,000 in unmarked, nonsequential bills to be left down at the docks.

The Hoya Suxa Reader

Hoya Suxa Presents: A Georgetown Tapestry

Hoya Suxa Presents: Georgetown Class Notes: December 2015

Hoya Suxa Presents: Georgetown Industries, Ltd. Product Catalog

Hoya Suxa Presents: The Georgetown Report

Hoya Suxa Presents: Selected Washington Post Clarifications and Retractions

Hoya Suxa Presents: Craigslist

Classic Hoya Suxa: Diagramming Georgetown’s Princeton Offense

Classic Hoya Suxa: Hilarious Pranks to Play on Georgetown

Classic Hoya Suxa: A Day in the Life

Classic Hoya Suxa: I Have a Terrible Medical Condition

Hoya Suxa Presents: The Georgetown Minister of Information

Hoya Suxa Presents: An Abridged Oral History of Georgetown Basketball

Classic Hoya Suxa: Hoya Aesthetics

Hoya Suxa Presents: Some Very Funny Stories Hoyas Tell