Hoya Suxa, the website, no longer exists. Hoya Suxa, the person, still exists. He'll be writing literary masterpieces ahead of the Syracuse-Georgetown game. Abigail Adams is our guide: "I have been to Georgetown and felt all that [a friend] described when she was a resident there. It is the very dirtiest hole I ever saw for a place of any trade, or respectability of inhabitants. . . ."
— Flesh wounds.
— A Neck Punch o' the Month Club membership.
— Molotov eggnogs.
— Spackle to fill the hole in their chest where a soul should be.
— A dreamcatcher that only allows thoughts of off-the-rack suits through.
— A plush toy of their favorite Sesame Street character: Smugaluffagus.
— A copy of "Self-Immolation and You: For the Greater Good."
— A handwritten Christmas card/ransom note wishing for a blessed holiday season/a bag filled with $500,000 in unmarked, nonsequential bills to be left down at the docks.