A decade of Nunes, a decade of shit.
Where to begin, really. I mean what do you give to the guys who have nothing? Everything I could offer just seems so cheap. Maybe I could offer you your vacated wins back? Perhaps I could use my massive influence in our nation’s capital to get Obama to pardon your numerous felon-athletes? Maybe pull some strings to get you a football team that isn’t a national embarrassment? Could we turn back time so everyone in your fat and pasty fanbase wouldn’t have to go to sleep each night quietly regretting the blatant moneygrab by your athletics department that ruined our rivalry and turned every school in the universe against you? It’s cold up on your campus in Canada, maybe I could get Michael Carter-Williams to give you that bathrobe back to warm you up? Maybe a lottery pick that doesn’t have a terrible NBA career? Maybe a flight to New Zealand so you can watch Eric Devendorf and Jonny Flynn play? Perhaps, above all, just get your dignity back?
But seriously, our blog battles over the years have been a lot of fun, and even though I have emerged victorious after every single one of them, you have established yourselves as a worthy adversary. And by worthy, I mean worthless. Do your legions of lame followers even know that you grew up as a Georgetown fan?
So thanks, Nunes. Thanks for continuing to strive to scrape the bottom of the barrel on a daily basis and making us all look good in the process. Thanks for allowing me to participate in this cute little roast, and please invite me back when you decide to shut the blog down so I can help close it just like the Hoyas closed Manley Field House and the Carrier Dome.
It’s been real fun. Real fun and terrible, which is pretty much how every Syracuse grad describes their time there.
Texas and Kisses forever,
P.S. See you gimps in December.