Shoulda Known It Was The Chipotle Curse This Whole Time

TNIAAM readers of a certain age will tell you tales of the Chipotle Curse.

Thanks to an ill-fated burrito meal before the 2010 Big East Tournament by a group of Syracuse Orange basketball players, we now know all too well that Chipotle stalks us like a wolf tracking a hare. In the years since, Chipotle has sidetracked our school, our sports teams and our athletes at every turn, changing fates and ruining lives in it's guacamole-infused wake.

Things reached fever pitch in April 2011 when Chipotle opened their Marshall Street location. Since then, the quick service establishment has lulled us into a false sense of security, by letting us taste a Final Four and Texas Bowl immortality. But what Chipotle giveth, Chipotle taketh.

Soon, Doug Marrone left and took his rising football program with him. Now Syracuse is coming off a 3-9 season with low expectations for the same in 2015. Meanwhile, Jim Boeheim's basketball program has felt the wrath of the NCAA, self-imposed a post-season ban this year and has more penalties to come. Oh and Boeheim's retirement is imminent. Finally, Syracuse lacrosse, which used to collect National Titles like they were pogs, has yet to win a title since Chipotle arrived close to campus?

Coincidence? Chip-NO-tle.

So this list, which ranks every FBS school based on proximity to Chipotle, should come not as a celebration but as a warning. You reap what you sow, Syracuse fans. And we are sowing sour cream nightmares and barbacoa bedlam.

Want to fix SU Football? Want to get SU Basketball back on track? Want to see SU Lacrosse ever win a title again?

Rebuilding, recruiting and good coaching won't do it. Shutting down Chipotle is the only way. Question is, do you have the temerity within you to do it, Syracuse? Can you sacrifice that next burrito for immortality?

Probably not. And so the Curse will live on forever.