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Syracuse Hires Search Firm to Help Select New Athletic Director; I Have a Better Idea

Syracuse has brought on a search firm to help pick the next Orange AD. I have a better solution...

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We already knew that Syracuse had an internal search committee assembled to find the next Orange athletic director. And now, they've brought on some external help as well. It was announced today that DHR International's Sports Practice Group will be assisting with the process. The two consultants, Glenn Sugiyama and Pat Richter, have done this before for other schools, so this isn't their first rodeo at all. The two men have assisted in AD searches at Miami, Colorado State, Rice and Pitt (amongst others), and were also integral in bringing aboard Jim Harbaugh at Stanford and Randy Edsall to Maryland, respectively.

That's all well and good, and it's nice to see them pulling out all the stops to secure a quality candidate in the role by the time fall arrives. But I have my own solution. A bigger, bolder, ORANGE-er solution that really... just makes WAY too much sense.

Not convinced? My cover letter:

Hello, good people of the Syracuse University Athletic Director Search Committee, Board of Trustees, and search firm guys --

I'd like to introduce myself as a candidate for your open athletic director position. Perhaps you've heard of me? I write scathing things about Syracuse's poor play-calling choices. And question your decision-making when it comes to non-conference scheduling. I also drink a decent amount of craft beer. All of those things -- exclusive to me as of right now -- become YOURS with my immediate hire. Think my criticism is effective from a blog? Imagine how well it will go over with the football team's staff over email or phone!

... Oh, in-person? Why, no! I won't be in-person for this job. I live in California and will not relocate. Did you know Syracuse has a Los Angeles campus? We do! I live in Los Angeles, so me working there means I work in Syracuse as well!

The question for you is what kind of AD do you want? If it's someone who understands #BRAND, I'm in PR. I GET #BRAND. Want someone the fan base likes? People occasionally stop calling me a "disloyal idiot" around here long enough to thank me for writing an article. Want someone the fan base hates? See the disloyal idiot comment above. I also have a history of pissing off OTHER fan bases. Want someone who's going to restore 44? LOOK AT THE HASHTAG I'M USING TO PROMOTE MY CANDIDACY. It will be swiftly restored!

Look, I know I'm not the perfect candidate for the job. But was the last guy? Plus, with profanity use and craft beer consumption up around the athletic department under my watch, morale is probably going to go up. At least it can't get lower than it probably is right now.

So there's my case. You get all of the above, plus a TON of loyalty to the university. I won't say it's my #DREAMJOB, but if you were to make the excellent decision to name me the next athletic director, I wouldn't leave the role until I was dead. Part of that might be because no other school would want me as their AD -- but who cares about THOSE details? YOU want me as your AD, and that's what matters.

Thanks for your consideration/imminent decision.