2015 NFL Draft Scouting Reports: The TNIAAM Staff

SB Nation went to all the trouble of creating a "Bull*** Draft Scouting Report Generator" so that everyone could have their own pointless NFL Draft scouting report. And since they ahead and create it, we figured we might as well have some fun with it here. We "scouted" some members of the TNIAAM staff to see how likely it would be to hear our names called (presumably by the New York Giants since we rep the Syracuse Orange).

Sean Keeley

Well if you can find an easier way to chop vegetables, I'd like to hear about it.

John Cassillo

I've always said John "out-yearns" every other blogger out there.

Dan Lyons

Dan's brunch Instagrams or Irsay's?

Sean Farrell

Just like with Sean's writing, I don't know what's going on in this sentence either (BOOM. ROASTED).

Kevin Wall

Well, best not to take your eye off his butt, then...

Claudia Ceva

Claudia, please stop murdering water fowl and stop stealing sandwiches.

Matt McClusky

"The length to at least get picked" should be on Matt's business cards from here on out.

Brandon Ross

Considering Brandon's literally too young to vote, I understand.

Jim Simmons

So frustrating. He's got a beautiful voice BECAUSE of his narrow teeth. Can't have it both ways, NFL.

Ben Sigel

Four squares is plenty, Ben!

Michael Burke

......so he charges his phone with his ass? In public?

Brian Tahmosh

Toldja Kentucky would lose, Brian. Now look at you...

Jim Boeheim

I assume he has NO Google search history and that's what's giving you pause? I understand.

Take a spin on the generator and let us know what is says about you.