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Hoya Suxa Presents: Craigslist

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A piece of magnificence from Hoya Suxa.

Craig Esherick
Craig Esherick
Jeff Gross/Getty Images

Hoya Suxa, the website, no longer exists. Hoya Suxa, the person, still exists. He'll be writing literary masterpieces ahead of the renewed Syracuse-Georgetown rivalry. Abigail Adams is our guide: "I have been to Georgetown and felt all that [a friend] described when she was a resident there. It is the very dirtiest hole I ever saw for a place of any trade, or respectability of inhabitants. . . ."

CRAIGSLIST

washington, DC > northern virginia > for sale > collectibles -- by owner

One of a Kind!

Highly rare NCAA Tournament appearance. Only one made in six years of operation. Lightly used. Please contact only if seriously interested.

washington, DC > northern virginia > personals > missed connection

Hungry, but not for food

I saw you at the Harris Teeter in Falls Church. I don't usually go to Harris Teeter in Falls Church but I had to this time because the Harris Teeter I usually go to banned me after a regrettable argument I had with the manager about using finger guns. Anyway, I was the shy, mustachioed guy that looks like Tom Selleck if Tom Selleck had a working knowledge of how to effectively kill houseplants. You distracted me from deciding between a can of creamed corn or a bag of Bugles that I would eat alone in my underwear while quietly sobbing. I wanted to say hello to you but you seemed really focused on flipping me off while pretending that I didn't exist. But I knew you knew that I existed because you were giving me the bird and eye-rolling so hard that I thought you would need medical treatment for a severe case of Giving Exactly No Damns. I was thinking that maybe sometime we could hang out and discuss our love of finger gestures.

washington, DC > northern virginia > services > travel/vacation services

Incredible Offer! Great Entertainment! Free*!

Have you ever visited Washington, D.C.? If so, I guarantee that you've never had an experience like this! The monuments, museums, and history will always be there, but if you want to see the real Washington, D.C. that nobody talks about, you could find yourself traveling to our nation's capital -- for free! -- to soak in an entertainment opportunity that few have ever known! Click here to find out if you qualify!

craigslist > forums > cl - help desk

need help fast

This thing I have broke. I don't know what it is. The damn wife bought it. This is what I know it isn't: food, a telephone, a thing that beeps. It's kind of big but not real big. If you were here I'd do something with my hands to show you how big it is. Can you come over? Whoever makes this should go out of business. We got it . . . hell, I don't know when. Let's see: before it we had something else, so that should give you an idea of how old it is. I'm pretty sure that this thing isn't socks and I have the cuts on my feet to prove it. Ahhh . . . what the hell does this thing do? I pressed the thing on the side of the thing and nothing happened. You know the thing -- that thing. It's like a switch, or maybe a button? The thing is next to my collection of contemporary nickels. You know that collection, right? It's the pride of the family, unlike this damn thing. This thing doesn't respond to shouting, which makes me think that it's silently plotting against me. Are you the police? THIS NEEDS TO BE FIXED! PRONTO! Please send responses to my VCR (is this the VCR?).