INT. DR. VON BADDINGTON'S SECRET LABORATORY
An ominous, underground palace. Jagged rocks pock the ceilings and walls. Beneath them, a pristine bunker full of futuristic computers, weapons and vehicles.
VARIOUS HENCHMEN in matching gray one-piece outfits mull about working various jobs. Most have weapons on them.
In the center of the room, DR. ARGUS VON BADDINGTON is rubbing his hands together in glee. Adorned in a Victorian suit with derby hat, monocle and cane, his smile seems to be a mile wide.
Baddington is staring at TREVOR COONEY, a stubbly, goofy Syracuse Basketball player and elite assassin for a shadowy government agency known as The Ballistic Anti-Loss League (B.A.L.L.), who is currently strapped to a gurney with lasers pointed at his head, heart and shooting hand.
Dr. Baddington laughs maniacally and walks to a lever that controls the lasers. He puts his hand on the top of the lever and turns back to Trevor.
Dr. Baddington's face drops.
Suddenly, a window CRASHES and a figure descends from above. The man lands in one of those cool crouched poses where he's got one hand down on the ground in front of him and he's looking down. Then, the figure looks up.
It's TERRY COONEY, Trevor's schlubby brother who still lives at home with Ma.
CAH-RACK! A massive section of the walls comes BURSTING inward, as if punched by someone. It has been punched by someone. That someone is GERRY COONEY, an aging former boxer who bears no resemblance to the other Cooney Brothers. He emerges in a gray sweatsuit and with bandages in the shape of an X over his cheek.
Dr. Baddington doesn't have time to finish because all of a sudden the doors FLY OPEN. A bright, white light fills the room. Dr. Baddington shields his eyes. Bur when he looks back, he sees two figures emerge. They are TYLER COONEY and KEVIN COONEY.
Tyler wears an eyepatch and Fu Manchu mustache while Kevin is dressed in a Brooks Brothers suit with hair slicked back like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street.
Dr. Baddington GULPS.
Kevin then makes a FIST with one hand and smacks it against his other hand, which is an open palm. Tyler is spinning a MEDIEVAL MACE in his hand.
Dr. Baddington shrieks! He spins around to see yet another Cooney standing before him. TERVOR COONEY, their European cousin. Wearing a Members Only jacket, wife-beater and tight-fitting jeans, his exact country of origin is unknown.
Tyler Cooney approaches Dr. Baddington and pulls him up by his collar.
Tervor unties Trevor and the six Cooney Brothers form a circle.
Each brother raises a SHOOTING FIST to the sky as Dr. Baddington trembles with fear. As they each speak their POWER-WORDS, a bright light emanates from their shooting hands.
As their shooting-hand-light combines over Dr. Baddington, a form takes shape. The form of a GIANT HAND.
The HOT HAND SLAMS down on Dr. Baddington, seemingly flattening him into the ground. He wails in agony.
The six Cooney brothers jump and HIGH-FIVE before putting their arms around one another and walking out the giant hole in the wall.
A beat, then...
Dr. Baddington stirs...
As he begins to laugh painfully, he reaches into his pocket to reveal a vile of CLONING SYRUM!
THE END...OR IS IT???