/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/27979467/20140111_jcd_ai8_003.0.jpg)
Syracuse Orange fans, meet Barry Saunders. No, not Barry Sanders. Saunders. He's a columnist for the News & Observer in Raleigh. As far as I can tell, he's either barely on Twitter or has the world's laziest faux Twitterfeed I've ever seen.
Barry had some thoughts about Jim Boeheim and Syracuse fans this past weekend. Despite the fact that he's a self-styled Duke loather, he seems to have found something he hates even more…us. In a week when we don't have an AP voter that we can direct our pent-up issues towards, I thought maybe Barry would make a fine substitute.
From what I can tell, Barry only put half his heart into the screed so I'm not going to suggest you put much of yours into a rebuttal. Instead, let me share your reactions and concerns with Barry through the magic of animated GIFs. Let's begin...
Somebody check the temperature in hell.
But put on your overcoat first. And mittens.
At precisely 7:14 p.m. Saturday, I saw a Duke University basketball player hit a shot – and I didn’t curse. I cheered.
...no true Son of the South wanted to see a Yankee coach who looks as though he’s never eaten grits and wouldn’t appreciate them even if he did come into the conference and run the table.
There was another reason besides the Syracuse coach’s presumed gustatorial limitations to finally root for Duke: Syracuse’s fans.
It took Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim and its fans to make rooting for Duke a reality.
An example of Syracuse fans’ arrogance: During Saturday’s game, a Creamsicle-dressed Syracuse Orange fan held aloft a sign that read "Duke is mediocre at Best."
Now, not even the most fervent Wolfpack-worshipping or Tar Heel-loving, Blue Devil-hating fan who knows a basketball from a kumquat would make such an idiotic declaration.
Does Boeheim think 35,000 fans came to the Carrier Dome on Saturday to see him? Does he think that $11 billion contract CBS just signed with the NCAA was so the network could televise him stomping and grimacing on the sideline?
Probably, and especially if he listened to Duke – oops, Dick – Vitale screaming incessantly about what a great coach and humanitarian Boeheim is. (Coach K must have a word with Vitale, because Dickie’s usual unabashed Duke deification was diluted by his love of Boeheim.)
At one point during the game, Vitale ooohed reverently of "the five decades (Boeheim has) given to the school."
What a crock. Dude hasn’t given them anything. They’re paying him $1.9 million a year. To coach college basketball.
Now that’s idiotic.
(Agreed, Barry. What a selfish monster Jim Boeheim is. He never does anything to help anyone else ever. Shame on him for wasting oxygen. Good work skimming that article about Boeheim's thoughts on paying college players too, leaving out the part where he says he is actually trying to get them more money. Otherwise, spot on! Grape job! Looking forward to working with you in the future!)