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Santa's a Clemson Alum? Oh, That Explains EVERYTHING!

All those years of coal? Blame Clemson...

Mark Runnacles/Getty Images

You're all aware of our hate-hate relationship with Clemson, mostly on the internet -- so much so that I don't even have to bother linking to it. The "crimes" on both sides are well-documented on every message board, Bud Polquin mailbag and comment section related to either team. And now, we might have figured out the REAL starting point of this odd feud:

Santa Claus is a Clemson Alum.

... and wow. It all makes FAR too much sense. Over 20 percent of Syracuse's undergrad population is Jewish (so they don't celebrate Christmas). So the run-up to our current hatred has really just been Santa playing the long-con prior to our admission into the ACC. Observe the coal we've received over the years:

  • Georgetown's general existence -- I bet if you check the Zapruder film on the final game at Manley, you'll find Santa handed JT the mic...
  • Pat "F&%!ing" Dye (Santa told him to go for the tie)
  • Keith "F&%!ing" Smart
  • Richmond.
  • Vermont.
  • GERG: arguably the most glaring example
  • Arinze Onuaku's injury in 2010 that completely derailed a title contender's championship hopes
  • Fab Melo, and his lack of reading abilities
  • (Omitted: that situation from a few years ago we don't talk about)
  • (That situation we're current waiting on an NCAA verdict for that we sort of DO talk about)
  • The 2014 Syracuse football season

... and the list could go on and on. Santa is most definitely a Clemson alum, and he's been out to get us all for years. So don't be surprised when that stocking of yours is filled with coal, Syracuse fans. Or, y'know, we miss the NCAA tournament or some other annoying, soul-sucking like that.