clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

An Introduction To To All Our New ACC Friends (And Duke)

Are you a fan of an ACC school not called Syracuse? Then allow ourselves to introduce ourselves.


Hello, new ACC Brothers, Sisters and Transgendered Siblings!

We're the Syracuse Orange, one third of the new guys in town, along with the Notre Dame Fighting Irish (except for one thing) and something called the Pittsburgh Panthers.

We'll let them explain themselves (in the case of Notre Dame, there's a lot of ground to cover). But as far as Syracuse is concerned, feel free to stop by here and find out what's going on in our world and how much we dislike the way you're affecting it.

Rather than tell you what the deal is around here, I'll just let you ask the questions.

Who is Troy Nunes? Why is he an absolute magician? What makes a magician "absolute?"

It's a long story but to answer the first part of your question, he used to be the quarterback for Syracuse. To answer the second and third parts, I'll just point you here.

Are you Troy Nunes?

No. I'm Sean.

Do people call you Troy or Nunes?

All the time. It's the bed I've made for myself.

Does Troy Nunes know about all this? How does he feel?

Yes he does. He...tolerates it.

So you just sit here and day and, what, make Boeheim jokes?

God no, not anymore. We've for a whole team of people who sit here all day and make Boeheim jokes now. Some former students, some locals, some alums spread across the country and even one or two current SU students as well. We try to cover all the bases.

So are you guys glad to be here or are we just gonna hear "Wahhhh, the Big East, wahhhhh."

Nope, we're happy to be here. Obviously we wish smarter people had been in charge of the Big East for the past fifteen years and would have figured something out, but, there weren't, and we're glad we're not one of the schools left behind.

Where's your hard-hitting, analytical analysis of every down in every Syracuse game?

F*** if I know. It's not that kind of blog. I mean, we've got different writers who tackle different topics but we tend to keep things pretty light. We'll report the news of the day and we'll talk about the big topics affecting SU and the ACC, but we're also pretty likely to spend all day making fun of your alumni base, too.

It's not gonna be all jokes about Southern people, is it?

Look, we're all adults here. We know that not every person in the South is a dumb-as-rocks redneck just like we know every Syracuse fan isn't a prissy New York liberal.

But, yes, we're going to make a lot of jokes about Southern people.

I should get really defensive about it and lash out and take everything super-serious, huh?

No, silly. This is a sports blog where sports fans talk about sports on a blog. It's fun! So when we say something like, "Georgia Tech? More like Georgia BLECH," the incorrect response would be...

"Oh, that's real cute coming from Syracuse. You a**holes defended a child molester and your basketball program is bunch of criminals!!!"

The correct response would be...

"Syracuse? More like Syrajerks."

But what if I don't have a sense of humor?

You must be a Clemson fan. BOOM. ROASTED!

What are the three most important things I should know about Syracuse?

1. We care about football more than you think we do, mostly because, historically-speaking and most-recently, we're better than you think we are.

2. We travel really, really well for basketball. To the point where we don't get any credit for winning road/neutral site games anywhere in the continental United State. There's a reason that Dome is always so loud.

3. Lacrosse is the sport in which we get to be the entitled pricks we want to be as football fans. Duke might be on a nice roll right now, but a dynasty they are not. Call us when you 22-straight Final Fours.

What's it like to go to school in Manhattan?


Do you get discounts at the Statue of Liberty?

I don't think you...

Aren't you guys New York's College Team?

If you believe everything written on a taxi cab, then yes.

But Rutgers said...

Rutgers says a lot of things.

We've gotten off track here. This was about getting to know TNIAAM.

TNIAAM: Getting Off Track Since 2005

Good to meet you guys. Looking forward to hating you real soon.