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Jim Boeheim Breaks My Heart: 'I Don’t Read Blogs'

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Jim Boeheim doesn't read blogs because if he did, he'd vomit a lot.

USA TODAY Sports

Now that JamesSoutherlandAcademicSuspensionGate is behind us, at least until he's retroactively suspended the day before the NCAA Tournament so that they can begin their investigation, everyone can take a breath.

All those rumors you heard about James Southerland and why he was suspensed...don't matter anymore even if you thought they were true.

All those rumors you heard about Michael Carter-Williams...nonsense.

All those rumors you heard about the Syracuse Orange basketball program on the verge of collapse...what the hell was wrong with you?

My personal favorite was the one where SU was days away from announcing we were going to receive a postseason ban for 2 years. Because given everything you've seen about what went down at North Carolina, Miami, USC, UCLA, Auburn, Ohio State, UConn and all the other schools that have had violations over the years far worse than some academic fraud, the NCAA was just waiting to swing its hammer in Syracuse's direction. It was the most Syracuse fan rumor I've ever heard.

Anyway, you're all a bunch of weirdos. And thankfully, Jim Boeheim didn't read all those rumors you started/continued because, as he's made it abundantly clear, he doesn't have the ability to read The Blogz or The Twitters.

"I don’t read blogs and stuff like that, but people do tell me things," Jim Boeheim, the Orange coach, said on Sunday afternoon following his club's 77-58 conquest of St. John’s at the Carrier Dome. "And none of the stuff out there is even remotely close to what happened. Not even in the ballpark. But that’s just the way the world is today. That’s why I don’t have a computer. I don’t want to throw up every day."

"It’s amazing how we like fiction," Boeheim mused. "Amazing. Can’t get a newspaper, but we can get fiction."

I'll excuse Jim for blaming "blogs" for spreading these rumors. He's like a puppy pooping on the carpet, he doesn't know any better. What I won't excuse is Poliquin's implicit agreement with Jim about those scourges of the Internet who spread nasty rumors about Syracuse. Because the last time I checked, it was Bud who gave those rumors space in his column last week.

Old people, you guys. What can you do?