BREAKING: Scoop Jardine, Dion Waiters May Not Actually Be Cousins

There are certain things that Syracuse Orange basketball fans know in their heart of hearts to be true thanks to every college basketball announcer who has ever called a game.

1. Andy Rautins is Leo Rautins' son.

2. Brandon Triche is Howard Triche's nephew.

3. Dion Waiters, Scoop Jardine and Rakeem Christmas are from Philadelphia, just as Rick Jackson was before them.

4. Scoop Jardine and Dion Waiters are cousins.

OR ARE THEY???

On this giant orb rocketing through the universe with reckless abandon, we hold on to those truths as the only things keeping us from flinging ourselves into the abyss of madness. As Benjmin Disraeli once said, "Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time, point blank period." He may have added, "Ooh yea that's true," though no one can confirm it.

Sports Illustrated now has an article (from the future - Feb. 20) that seems to challenge everything we hold dear.

Waiters stayed, partly because he wanted to play one more year with Jardine, who is not his cousin, no matter what news stories and the Syracuse media guide say. They have just been tight since they were kids in Philadelphia, and they like when people call them cousins. Jardine knew why Waiters was frustrated. Early in his Syracuse career, Jardine had felt the same way. He says he never thought Waiters would leave because "he knew where he wanted to be. We made a pact."

Not cousins? NOT COUSINS? What kind of sorcery is this? They're cousins!

Right?

Please, God, tell me they're still cousins...

SU Athletics says so. The Daily Orange says so. Orange Hoops says so. USA Today says so. Philly.com says so AND THEY WOULD KNOW BECAUSE DION AND SCOOP ARE FROM PHILADELPHIA.

Hey Sports Illustrated, KNOW YOUR BUSINESS!

By the way, it's coincidentally a great article written by someone (Michael Rosenberg) who actually gets into who Jim Boeheim actually is, even getting him to admit, "I'm very thin-skinned, and I'm very sensitive, which is bad for coaches." I didn't realize that sports columnists were still allowed to do quality research and critical analysis (Hi Pat Forde). Go read it.