Syracuse Fans, Darth Hackett Finds Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing

Angry Syracuse Fan 1: What of Rutgers? If the Knights have obtained a complete statistical reading of our offense, it is possible, however unlikely, they might find a weakness and exploit it.

Darth Hackett: The gameplan you refer to is well within our hands.

Angry Syracuse Fan 2: Any blitz attack made by Rutgers against this offense would be a useless gesture, no matter what statistical data they have obtained. Ryan Nassib is now the ultimate power in the universe! I suggest we use him!

Darth Hackett: Don't be too proud of this game management terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a Rhode Island defense is insignificant next to the potential of the Running Force.

Angry Syracuse Fan 2: Don't try to frighten us with your ball-control ways, Lord Hackett. Your sad devotion to that ancient football art has not helped you conjure up the legend of 44, or given you enough clairvoyance to find a 200-yard rusher.

[Hackett makes a motion to the Syracuse offense, they run off-tackle for a gain of two yards. Angry Syracuse Fan 2 chokes on his Dome Dog]

Darth Hackett: I find your lack of faith disturbing.