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Syracuse Football: Get to Know Your Orange Man -- #32 Travon Burke

By Hoya Suxa
He's actually a real person. This picture from the Internet proves it. <a href="http://www.sif.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/2010-dome-fball-upst-burkes.jpg">www.sif.net</a>
He's actually a real person. This picture from the Internet proves it. www.sif.net

We're moseying through unknown, walk-on territory.  So, when I can't find real information, I'm just going to write some stuff that may or may not be true. 

Make sure that you catch up on all the profiles you may have missed by clicking this fancy blue text. Most of those aren't full of lies (or potential lies). 

PLAYER: Travon Burke

NUMBER: 32

POSITION: Running Back

YEAR: Freshman

HEIGHT: 6'1"

WEIGHT: 253

HOMETOWN: Syracuse, NY

HIGH SCHOOL: Corcoran (looks like he attended Milford Prep as well)

2010 STATS: Killed a man in San Antonio over a burrito dispute.  Afterwards, he asked the bartender for two fingers of whiskey; when he was given only one finger of whiskey, he tore the barback's heart clear from his chest like Kano from Mortal Kombat.

So, he has some anger management issues.  He also played running back and linebacker for Corcoran during high school.  He presumably had stats there because he made the Upstate all-star team.  I suppose there wasn't a "No Merciless Killers" prohibition for that game.  

2011 PROJECTIONS:  Will discover that unicorn tears are the world's strongest renewal resource.  That stuff will be like rocket fuel combined with Jagermeister.  Just badass bullet speed combined with forever power. 

He will also discover unicorns because, you, prerequisites and such.  Oh, yeah, he'll also wear his uniform for every home game -- the correct combination and everything! -- and show up for practices and stuff.

WHAT DID SCOUT/RIVALS SAY?: Like your Jewish uncle, they never heard of him.

HOW'D HE GET HERE?: On a rocket ship that runs on the unicorn tears that he discovered in the future.  Duh.

Or he went to Corcoran and then Milford.  And then Doug Marrone put his hand on Burke's head and said, "You were once a linebacker.  Now you are a running back.  Run." 

INTERESTING NUGGET OF INTEREST: According to his Myspace page (YES!), his favorite books are "i don't read b." Can I get that series on Kindle?

INDIE ROCK AS FOOTBALL THEORY: Everything from Syracuse is connected:

 

 

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