clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

A Guide To Big East School Area Casinos For Dana Holgorsen

So it sounds like the future is now. The Bill Stewart Era is over and the Dana Holgorsen Era is about to begin.

Things escalated quickly in WVU and now it looks like Mardi Gras Casino persona non grata Holgorsen will be front and center when the Mountaineers travel to Louisville, tropical New Brunswick and Syracuse. Dana's got a lot of things to worry about, namely perfecting offensive scheme, winning back the players who might be wary of a regime change, using a lot of cliche phrases like "moving forward" and "putting the past behind us," and winning so many football games that Oliver Luck doesn't decide, in a moment of sheer cunning and ironic genius, to hire Bill Stewart as coach-in-waiting under Holgorsen.

The most important thing Holgorsen needs to figure out, however...where is the nearest casino to each Big East school? SO important, you guys. If Daddy Dana doesn't get his Pai Gow fix on a weekly basis, someone's gonna be running sprint drills until they vomit an internal organ, and it ain't gonna be Dana Holgorsen.

He WILL be vomiting an internal organ, but that won't be because of all the sprinting.

Holgie's got a full schedule of Big East events ahead that will be stressful, taxing and laborious on the ol'Great Dane. Best to have an exit strategy handy for Friday Night pre-game jitters and Saturday Night post-game jitters. As well as Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday jitters while we're at it.

Big East Media Day (Newport, RI)

Dana might be shocked to learn Newport's La Forge Casino Restaurant is not, in fact, a casino. Instead, he'll live for the wonder of it all at Connecticut's Foxwoods (33.6 mi.).

Cincinnati, OH

Once again, he'll have to leave the state in order to split his 8's but Dana should have a good time at Belterra Casino Resort (32 mi.), which incidentally, hold more people on a Tuesday morning than can fit in Nippert Stadium.

Louisville, KY

If the Mountaineers played at Cincy and at Louisville back-to-back, Dana could theoretically spend the entire week between at Belterra. Still, if he's looking for something slightly closer, look no further than Horseshoe Casino & Hotel (16.1 mi.)in Elizabeth, IN. Reservations not required.

Storrs, CT

Tough call here. Do you go back to Foxwoods or do you head on over to nearby Mohegan Sun? If we assume Dana's no longer allowed in Foxwoods by this point, a fair assumption, the winner has to be Mohegan (29.3 mi.)!

Syracuse NY

Dana's gonna LOVE Turning Stone (33.5 mi).

New Brunswick, NJ

It's not as close any of the other casinos but no trip to Rutgers will be complete for Dana without a stopover in Atlantic City. Might I recommend The Borgota as the spot of choice for a classy night out? Then again, something tells me Holgie might be more of a Harrah's kind of guy (95 mi.)

Pittsburgh, PA

Dana can't go wrong at The Rivers Casino (2.5 mi). Like their website says, "You know you wanna get your hands on all of this."

Tampa, FL

He might be playing the Bulls, but Dana's all about the Seminoles when he hangs out at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (6.4 mi). Ooohhh...Everclear is playing soon!

Ft. Worth, TX

Never to early to look ahead, though in theory, he should already be very familiar with this one. The WinStar World Casino in Thackerville, OK (77.2 mi).

Welcome to the Big East, Coach Holgorsen. May you draw Aces often.