Ring of Honor? More like Ring of Yawner.
Golden plaques? More like Golden pwned.
Retired jerseys? More like retired jokeseys.
Retired numbers? More like retahded numbers.
(Ed. note: As a reminder, I'm currently standing in front of people in a classroom and teaching them things...)
All that stuff is how your old man honored his sports legends. Not us, man, not us. We build statues.
We officially live in the era of the statue. No longer content to shove somebody's face on a wall or buy a $50 frame to put around a used jersey and raise it to the rafters, the only way we can possibly honor our heroes these days is to lovingly craft larger-than-life golden calves in their visage, so that we may bow down to them and their rebounding skill for all of eternity.
Bill Russell is getting a statue in Boston. Lou Brock just got statue No. 2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is going to go on a murder spree if someone doesn't give him a statue soon. Cam Newton is barely out of school and he's getting a statue. Nick Saban's been the Alabama coach for a handful of years, but he's already immortalized in statue form. To no one's surprise, Tim Tebow already has a statue at Florida and the rumor is it cries blood after every Gator loss. George Steinbrenner keeps a watchful eye over things in statue form. LSU will soon unveil a statue of Shaquille O'Neal, before Pistol Pete or Bob Petit.
The point is, statues are in and everything else is garbage.
So if Syracuse is going to get in on this goodness (and don't tell me DOC Gross isn't thinking about it), which Syracuse athlete will follow Ernie Davis into the Bronze Age?
Jim Brown
The Greatest Athlete To Ever Wear Orange Or Any Other Color For That Matter is the golden standard by which all football players are measured, and will be measured for all of time. Had he played in the modern era of Syracuse Lacrosse, he would have won six National Titles in four seasons. He was that good.
Vic Hanson
The original two-sport Syracuse star, Hanson is the only the only player in history to be enshrined in both the Basketball Hall of Fame (1960) and the College Football Hall of Fame (1973). I'd say that counts for something.
Wilmeth Sidat-Singh
Another two-sport star, his racially-tinged efforts at SU were way before Ernie Davis got here. His death as a member of the Tuskegee Airmen also makes him quite a story.
Floyd Little
You might say that Little has to wait until after Jim Brown, but think of Little's recent accomplishments. He's morphing into the thing that Brown never wanted to be...Syracuse's Patron Saint.
Jim Boeheim
You may have heard of him. He's been around for a while. He does a lot of carpeting commercials.
Gerry McNamara
There have been better Syracuse Basketball players, but there has never been a more beloved one. In the day and age of the one-and-done, his four-year stint with the Orange (and subsequent coaching career) cements his legacy.
Carmelo Anthony
Maybe the reason they haven't retired his number yet is cause they're holding out for the big honor. And you just KNOW Carmelo is gonna want a statue sooner or later.
Matt Gorman
I think the facts speak for themselves.
So who gets it? Leave your reasoning in the comments (I learned all about this in class!).