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The world as we know it is going to end on May 21st. There are billboards that tell me this, so I have to believe it's true. What kind of monster would buy a billboard saying the world is going to end if it weren't true? I just don't want to live in a world where someone would buy a billboard claiming the end of the world was coming if it wasn't true. And so, it seems, I don't have a choice in the matter anyway.
Now, the world doesn't just go away on May 21st. Whew! That's the good news. Here's the bad news...it WILL go away for good on October 21st, according to 89-year-old fundamentalist minister Harold Camping. In the meantime, those of us left behind will have to fight for survival and understanding until we must face our mortality.
That, and root for our beloved Orange.
So, what's an unraptured Syracuse fan to do for those six months of tribulation? Let's find out.
Come prepared to SU Lacrosse's Quarterfinal Game. Assuming the Orange beat Siena this weekend, they'll play the winner of North Carolina-Maryland on Sunday, May 22nd (a.k.a. The Day After Tomorrow). Who knows what kind of condition the world is going to be in, let alone the lacrosse field at Foxborough where the game will be played. Earthquakes are expected to ravage the world, so you'll probably want to bring some all-terrain clothing and gear. The stadium may still be there, or we might be playing this game on a field of rubble. Either way, it's no excuse for you not to show up and cheer.
Keep buying football season tickets. Unfortunately, the Orange will never go to a bowl game again. We can at least take solace in knowing that Doug Marrone pointed the program back in the right direction before the end came. We've got eight games left to go out on a high note. In fact, you're most likely going to spend the final moments of your Earthly existence watching the Orange take on West Virginia in the Dome on Friday, October 21st. I can't think of a better way to be blinked out of existence.
Cancel your SU Basketball tickets. Unfinished Business will unfortunately remain just that for all of eternity.
Forget about Big East expansion. TCU and Villanova will never make it. I guess Pitt, Rutgers and WVU win this round.
Eat as many Dome Dogs as you like. You don't need to impress anyone anymore.
Write that fan fiction novel about you and Doug Marrone on a tropical island. No reason to hold back now. And if you don't want to share it with anyone, you won't have to. In fact, that probably works out for everyone.