For no discernible reason, the digital signage menu boards from the Carrier Dome are now up on YouTube. I don't get to spend too much time in the Dome staring at them so let's over-analyze them together...
First up, the SU Dome Menu Board.
We never discuss the fact that Labatt Blue has a stranglehold on the Carrier Dome beer taps. How'd they wrangle that? Not that I'm complaining. Better we leave this decisions up to the Canadians than make Syracuse fans suffer through Coors Light or Miller Lite. Whoever the sales guy/gal is for Labatt distribution in Central New York deserves a set of steak knives.
Though, I do suppose that by not supplying Miller Lite, we're breaking some sort of Man Law or CoMANdment or MANdate. I'm fine with this.
That said, "Nordic Non-Alcoholic"? Bless their little hearts for trying to make the Non-Alcoholic beer sound rugged and enticing. Designated drivers don't need to know they're akin to Vikings when sucking down those useless suds, but I suppose it can't hurt. KEEP CHUGGING, LOTHAR!
I just went to Byrne Dairy's website to find out what I can learn about their cookiewich cows that produce the cookiewich milk that is processed into cookiewich ice cream and packaged in sandwich form. As far as I can tell, their website is gone. Guess their putting all their focus into perfecting the cookiewich.
Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia Yogurt Bar...for the discriminating dessert eater that wants to be able to say, "Well it was frozen yogurt and not ice cream so it's kinda healthy..maybe...probably not."
Haagen Dazs Ice Cream Bar...for the dessert eater that don't give a f***.
"Enjoy a hot slice of Sbarros Pizza." Mmmm...tastes like Chapter 11.
$1.50 for sauerkraut??? Is this what we've come to, Carrier Dome? That delicious, lukewarm slop pile resting in gray water? COME ON, BRAH-TWURST.
What's that little thing at the end of the Nachos Grande. Is it an asterisk? Is it a apostrophe left over from a time when it used to be called Nachos Grande's Wild Ride? Do the Nachos Grande own something that can be purchased in tandem? As usual, Nachos Grande provides more questions than answers.
Now we move on to the Dome Box Office digital board...
You guys, you definitely want to take advantage of the Time Warner Triple Play Pack. You'll want that unused West Virginia game ticket stub to put on your work cubicle wall.
See now I think you could take the Monster Jam description, apply it to Syracuse Football and sell a CRAP-TON of tickets.
If someone described the SU football team as "twelve-feet-tall, two-thousand pound machines" that "will bring you to your feet, racing and ripping up a custom-designed track full of obstacles to soar over...or SMASH though!," wouldn't you just slap down your credit card and say, "DO IT, MR. OR MRS. TICKET-SELLER"?
Besides, Doug Marrone and Truckasaurus are easily confused.
Brandon Triche does all the same moves that the Harlem Globetrotters do, just not on purpose.