Syracuse Needs A New TV Deal

When our alumni appear on television, it's meant to showcase the kind of talent that the university attracts, molds and releases into the wild in order to make the world a better place.

With that in mind, I think it's worth noting that the most recent high-profile SU alums to grace our TV sets are setting us back eons.  We must remedy this post haste.

First, there's the Syracuse guy on TMZ who thinks its a fantastic idea to who seems to think it's a good idea to align the University's good name with Harvey Levin's face. 

Then there's The Weatherman, a.k.a. Jonathan Novak, who was recently sent home from The Bachelorette.  He was whiny, he complained, he wussed out and he left the show with a whimper.  Far outclassed by much manlier men (and one really weird dude with a penchant for protecting and guarding hearts), he did SU men no favors by representing them.

Finally there's Max Meisel, the former Syracuse WR, now intern for Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel.  His job is to...I don't know...do whatever it is he's supposed to be pretending to do, all the while styling his hair and saying "bro" a lot.

I played football at Syracuse University, I eat like a pig, and I hang with the bros.

Fist pounds are a staple in the bro community, and this is something Bethenny will have to get used to.

That's it.  Cease fire, Cuse alums on TV.  We raise the white flag.  And in doing so, we hope to raise an orange flag.  An orange flag of justice and wonder and MANLY MANNESS OF THE FIRST MAN-NATUDE.  No more Cuse alums on dating shows.  From now on, Cuse alums can only appear on shows like Ice Road Truckers and The First 48 (preferably as the hard-nosed but good-natured detective and not as a murderer).

And for God's sake, no one is allowed on MTV or VH1.  Let's nip that in the bud before it even happens.  That's for South Florida alums.  Assuming USF actually hands out degrees.  Not 100% sure on that.

And as for why I have such strong knowledge of the goings-ons of TMZ, The Bachelorette and Real Housewives Of New York....I have no recollection of that, Senator.