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Chipotle Will Stop At Nothing To Destroy Syracuse Athletics From Within

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via <a href="http://consumerist.com/images/resources/2006/10/boorito-thumb.jpg">consumerist.com</a>
via consumerist.com

I'm not saying that Chipotle puts an addictive chemical in its burritos that make Syracuse athletes crave it fortnightly.  But I'm pretty sure Chipotle puts an addictive chemical in its burritos that make Syracuse athletes crave it fortnightly.

We all know the events of ChipotleBurritoGate 2010.  We tried to prevent further catastrophe, even taking it to tha streetz, but it was no use.  We took solace in knowing that since there was no Chipotle in Syracuse, we would safe for the time being.

God dammit.

Popular food chain Chipotle Mexican Grill will be opening a branch in the Syracuse area, said Richard Robb, commissioner of the DeWitt Planning Board.

"They're counting on a lunch crowd and a dinner crowd, and in terms of lunch they suspect that there will be workers in the office who will come down for something different," he said. "They expect people from the shopping area to stop by, those that drive by and they even expect students, both high school and college."

"That's great. I'm super excited that there's one coming to Syracuse. That'll be like the closet thing I'll have to a home-cooked meal," said Christine Delgado, a freshman hospitality management major.

Can someone take Christine Delgado over to their parents' house for an actual home-cooked meal?  I fear for her.

Anyway, that's old news. We've' known about Big Burrito's impending arrival for a while now.  What we could not have predicted (or probably could have very easily) is the Syracuse football team's insatiable desire to eat their wares.

@ChanJones99: I'm hungry as idk what! Dang I need some #chipotle

@twon29: you already know... I'm on Chipotle, Chik Fil A, and Carryout mission lol

@acollier27 how u going to grab some chipotle and not holla at me smh

We are doomed.  DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.