It goes without saying that this is the last time I trust a dachshund to predict the outcome of Syracuse sporting events based on the positioning of bacon-flavored treats.
You might remember that back in January, JJack the Hot Dog "predicted" that Syracuse would go to the Final Four this season. He did this by choosing the piece of paper that said Final Four on it that just so happened to be under a Beggin' Strip. We trusted him and put our faith in his prognostication. We certainly never questioned it. Who were we to question The Beggin' Strips of Truth?
Jack became a media darling. We even helped give him a platform with which to reach the masses. The world was just one giant Beggin' Strip and Jack was ready to pounce.
As time passed, Jack made more bold predictions. And here's the thing that probably should have tipped us off...he started getting them wrong. He picked Villanova to beat SU in the Dome. He picked SU to beat Louisville not once but twice. He even picked the Colts to beat the Saints in the Super Bowl.
Jack is actually quite horrible at this. Why didn't anyone tell us?
And so, here we are. Left to pick up the pieces. Who knows just how many Syracuse fans bet their life savings on the Orange after Jack predicted a Final Four finish? How many stories of heartbreak and tragedy could have been avoided had we just ignored the pleas of this cunning canine? How will we ever learn to love again?
Let's ask Jack! He'll know. Let's lay out three pieces of paper and put a Beggin' Strip on top of each one, and...NO! NO! WHAT AM I SAYING! DAMMIT, NO! I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM AGAIN! DAMN YOU, JACK! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!