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We already know Syracuse is going to the Final Four. We know this because a dog chose a bacon-flavored treat that was placed on top of a piece of paper that said Final Four on it. This is how science works.
Every major decision throughout the history of mankind has been decided by a dog choosing the corresponding outcome that was matched up with the treat he was most drawn to. The First Crusade, The Peloponnesian War, The 1932 World Series...all decided by dog treats. Time and time again, The Great Doggie Treat Unifying Theorem is proven correct.
But what do we know of this "Jack" and his magical foodstuff-related prognostication? He also correctly picked that Syracuse would defeat DePaul so we know that he's no one-trick pooch. A star has been born. Jack obviously needs his own segment, nay, his own show. But while the show moves through pre-production, the segment is all we have. So now it needs name.
Naturally, when it came time to choose a name, Jack was asked to make that choice. Alas, Jack realized something that we humans just can't understand. It's not his choice to make. It's up to the Gods. And us, I suppose.
So go vote on the name for Jack's segment in which he will predict the future of more Syracuse basketball games (though the suspense has already been killed since we already know the Orange are going to the Final Four...). Your choices are:
- Jack Attack
- Jack's Picks
- Puppy Picks With Jack
- Jack To The Future
- Hound's Hunches
- Hot Picks From The Hot Dog
Choose wisely and heed the warnings. Because one day you'll be lying on your death bed. Jack will come to you. He will present you with two pieces of paper. One says Heaven, the other...Hell. You will place two Beggin' Strips on each piece of paper and place them on the other side of the room. You will let Jack go. Which one will he choose? It all depends on you, my friend. It all depends on you...