This is you:
"Oh geez, I don't know if I should attend the ESPN College GameDay show in the Carrier Dome before the SU-Villanova game. I've got so much to do. These sweaters aren't going to crochet themselves. And I'm a person who doesn't half-ass it when it comes to my crocheting. Please note that I said I crochet and not knit. Knitting is for invalids. Knitting is for automatants. Any jerk can knit. Crocheting is an artform. And I will not let anyone sully the good name of crocheters everywhere. Stand up, Crocheters! Stand up and unite!
Okay, first of all, you are WAY too into crocheting. You need to ratchet it down a tad. Put down the crochet hooks and talk a brisk walk. That doily isn't going anywhere.
Second, I just don't think you incentivized enough. Sure there's the opportunity to be on TV. Or the chance to be among thousands of boisterous Syracuse fans cheering on the Orange. Or the chance to show the world how witty you are with your play-on-words sign that degrades Digger Phelps.
That's a lot of juice. But just not enough to get you out of bed in the morning. So what if I told you there was...more?
All Syracuse University basketball fans are invited to join the GameDay telecast. One fan will have the opportunity to make a half-court shot to win $17,500 from State Farm. All fans will have the opportunity to win prizes, including t-shirts, rollabannas, net hats and gift cards during the broadcast.
T-shirts and gift cards...you know what those are. But what in God's name is a rollabanna? Rather than try to figure it out on my own, I'm just going to let this guy explain it:
DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT WANT A FUN AND SLEEK WAY TO SUPPORT YOUR TEAM!?!?!
We didn't even get to the net hats. NET HATS!!! Alright, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not exactly sure which net hat we're talking about but you can be sure it's one of these:
That's three very stylish, very cool hats. And a New Jersey Nets one, too.
If you don't want in now, I don't know what to tell you. LOOK HOW MUCH FUN SOUTHERN ILLINOIS HAD WITH THEIR ROLLABANNAS!!!!!!!!! THIS COULD BE YOU!!!
By the way, if that 5,000 ticket number supposed to impress me? Kentucky just pulled in 22K for their event. Are we not even trying to come close to that? Why not at least give it a whirl? That's disappointing, SU.