Gotta say, I did NOT peg Mike Hopkins as a abstract expressionism performance artist. But I guess sometimes you can't judge a book by it's cover, or a website by it's landing page.
For the last week we've all been desperately waiting for the countdown on The Mike Hopkins website to reach zero and reveal the wonders that lie beneath. A single, unmoving phrase taunted us. "Get Ready." And so we were. We were very ready. Ready for this...what is it?...a new way?
Like me, I'm sure you had purchased your duct tape and your plastic sheeting, affixed them to your windows. Snuggled into your radioactive-protection suit and given every member of your family a cyanide pill as we prepared for the mothership to lift us from his cursed land and take us to the planet Fabmelo deep in the Beta Galaxy where everything is beautiful, plush and sponsored by Nike. Mike Hopkins will be there waiting for us. Along with Jesus. And William Howard Taft. And together we will live in harmony for all of eternity.
That's what you got out of it, right? Seems obvious.
So it came with a bit of a shock this morning when I clicked on the website to see what beauty was in store and found...a broken link. Utopia lost. Amd gone forever.
Where do we go from here? I wish I had the answers. We can wait a little while, to see if this is all just a big misunderstanding. Perhaps Mike is busy concocting treasures the likes of which we have never known as we speak. Perhaps we will still taste from the dewy leaf of evermore...ever more.
Then again, I'm thinking we should just chug the cyanide pills to be safe. You know, just in case. If he's already on the planet, we're late as it is. Don't want to make things worse.