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What's In A Big East Name?

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Perusing the Big East rosters, or any football roster for that matter, it's hard not to find certain names that stick out. There's nothing quite as awe-inspiring as God's Power Offer or Barkevious Mingo, at least not yet. But the Big East rosters are chock-a-block with the absurd, the guffaw-inducing and the what-the-hell-were-his-parents-thinking? Let's take a look and sort out the truly great ones.

All-Porn Name 1st Team

Mike Cox, DE - UConn

Mark Wetterer, OL - Lville

Jabu Lovelace, QB - Rutgers

Cody Nutter, LB - WVU

Beau Brunelli, DE - UConn

 

All-Porn Name 2nd Team

Bruce Horner, DB - Cincy

Beau Bachety, TE - Rutgers

B.J. Daniels, QB - USF

Cody Catalina, TE - SU

Scott Loving, TE - WVU

 

The Heads of the Five Families Name Team

Andrew Taglianetti, DB - Pitt

Jonathan Taglianetti, LB - Pitt

Luca Romeo, TE - Cincy

Teddy Dellganna, P - Rutgers

Remo Fiorenelli, DL - Rutgers

 

All-Boogie Team

Boogie McCray, RB - Lville

Boogie Allen, DB - WVU

All-Last Name Team

Sean Hooey, OL - Cincy

Alex LaMagdelaine, OG, UConn

Rodney Gnat, DE - Lville

Justin Brockhaus-Kann, P - USF

Keith Coffindaffer, K - WVU

Noel Devine, RB - WVU

Isiah Pead, RB - Cincy

 

All-Your Parents Just Made Up Didn't They Team

Oderick Turner, WR - Pitt

Meme Wylie, RB - UConn

Obadiah Cheatham, LB - Cincy

Stephant'e Kent, LB - Rutgers

Dontavia Bogan, WR - USF

Danous Estenor,OL - USF

Jatavious Jackson,OL - USF

JaQuez Jenkins,S - USF

Citrine Warren, DE - WVU

Juantez Hollins, OL - Pitt

Franchot Allen, DB - WVU

Romale Tucker, DE - SU

Selvish Capers, OL - WVU

Guesly Dervil, DB - WVU

Shamarko Thomas, CB - SU

 

All-Pound For Pound Great-Name Team

Rock Keys, TE, Lville

Zaire Kitchen, DB - Rutgers

Sabbath Joseph, LB - USF

Devekeyan Lattimore, LB - USF

Van Chew, WR - SU

Brantwon Bowser, DB - WVU

Sampson Genus, OL - USF

Maximilian Leo, LS - SU

San San Te, K - Rutgers

Did I miss anybody?