CHILDREN, HARKEN TO MY VOICE! Something terrible has happened to Donte Greene. The savior of lake-flopping women everywhere has been...replaced. That or his doppelganger has emerged from the alternate universe from whence he came and switched places with our Donte, sending our Donte through the rift to the doppelganger world where he lives in fear as this evil Donte roams free among us to play summer league basketball.
How do I know??? EVIL GOATEE!!!!
We'll know for sure if he's asked to spout his signature catchphrase ("Buckets!") and instead says "Scmuckets!"
Heed my warning. If you come into contact with Bizarro Donte Greene...stop. Don't make any sudden movements. Put your hands in the air to make yourself seem bigger. And then scream as loudly as you can. Bizarro Donte Greene should flee. If not, play dead. He'll leave you alone as soon as he sniffs you.