Seriously, have you ever been to an EagleBank? How many of you have ever stepped foot in a Roady's? Or taken AdvoCare vitamins?
Making fun of bowl games names might be passe but have you ever actually stopped to try and figure out who these random companies are and what they do that gives them the marketing budget big enough to sponsor a college football bowl game that in turn is supposed to supply them with enough awareness to increase gross revenue which will increase profits and satisfy stockholders and/or investors?
I want to know! And so, let's find out. Some bowl sponsors we all know (Tostitos, FedEx, Sheraton), but I'm going to dive into these randoms that might not be so obvious. (We've covered Beef O'Brady's in great detail so we don't need to rehash that).
(Oh and one caveat I'll lay down...I'm a life-long Coaster. So if your initial reaction is "How do you not know what Roady's is, I take my wife there for Valentine's Day every year," please keep that in mind. Also, please take your wife somewhere else for Valentine's Day. She's quietly dying inside.)
Sponsor: R & L Carriers
What The Hell Do They Do?: Via their website: "R+L Carriers is a Global Transportation Provider designed to provide superior service at competitive pricing through efficient operations and innovative thinking to the ultimate benefit of our customers and shareholders. Customer satisfaction is mandatory to ensure future success." A.K.A....trucks. A lot of trucks.
Sponsor: San Diego County Credit Union
What The Hell Do They Do?: Via their website, "San Diego's largest locally based financial institution." It's a bank. In San Diego. Shoulda guessed that.
Sponsor: Gaylord Hotels
What The Hell Do They Do?:Via their website: "Whether you're arranging an intimate executive meeting or coordinating a conference for thousands, Gaylord Hotels are the experts at ensuring the flawless execution of your event. You'll find guest rooms, meeting space, restaurants, networking options and more all in one place." If you guys are so fancy, you'd think you could sponsor something better than the Music City Bowl.
In case you want to stay in one of their all-in-one hotels, there's only four to choose from (Dallas, Florida, Maryland & Nashville). For the traveler who wants to visit a place but never actually leave the hotel area.
What The Hell Do They Do?: AdvoCare "is proud to be the first direct selling company to sponsor a post-season college bowl game" Direct selling company? Uh-oh, you know what that means...anyone who shows up for the Independence Bowl is going to have to sit through an hour-long, halftime presentation on the "rewarding AdvoCare business opportunity." I think you might even be able to get a timeshare while you're at it. Of course, you could always just ride the AdvoBus to and from the game for the full-on salesy experience.
What The Hell Do They Do?: From their website: "EagleBank is a local community business bank with fourteen offices in Montgomery County, MD, Northern Virginia and Washington, DC. The bank focuses on providing superior customer service and custom financial solutions for the local business community." A bank that focuses on customer service?!?!? Now I've heard everything!
What The Hell Do They Do?: Tell'm, boys: "Roady's Truck Stops is the nation's largest chain of truck stops, catering to the professional driver and traveling motorist in 45 states with 400+ retail locations." Are you really surprised that I had no idea this existed? Somehow, I seemed to have fallen outside their core demo.
Sponsor: Bell Helicopter
What The Hell Do They Do?: "We are redefining flight" Holy crap, that's amazing. "Welcome to the leading edge of vertical lift." THANK YOU, GLAD TO BE HERE. "We design, build, and support the most proven, most reliable, and best performing aircraft in the world." Oh... So...you build helicopters? Why didn't you just say that? It doesn't really sound as impressive as the first two parts. Just sayin'.
What The Hell Do They Do?: WWell..."Insight is a technology solutions provider serving global and local clients in 170 countries" That sounds so boring my brain is trying to eat itself. "Insight is ranked number 477 on Fortune Magazine’s 2008 ‘Fortune 500’ list." Uh-oh...better make it 171 countries if you want to stay in there, folks. I'm sure sponsoring a bowl that features Iowa State football will help!
By the way, I love that the Insight Bowl website is actually a sub-site of the Fiesta Bowl's website. It's a sub-bowl.