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What Is Ryan Nassib Hiding Under His Helmet?

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INT. THE CARRIER DOME - SATURDAY - 3RD QUARTER

RYAN NASSIB runs on to the field, takes over as starting quarterback for Syracuse.

Nassib_medium

Syracuse Fan #1: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Syracuse Fan #2: Shhh!
Syracuse Fan #1 I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Syracuse Fan #2: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Syracuse Fan #1: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid...
Syracuse Fan #2: Shh!
Syracuse Fan #1: ...has it's own weather system.
Syracuse Fan #2: Sh, sh, shh.
Syracuse Fan #1: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts. Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

H/T: SIMAAM, Photo: Syracuse.com