clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Fontaineblown

I think very fondly of the Fontainebleu Hotel in Miami Beach for two reasons:

1. I stayed there when I was kid once and it was fantastic.  Waterfalls, giant pools, wild animals running around.  It was like a kid-friendly Playboy mansion.

2. Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, notable because it was the "best" of the post-Steve Guttenberg Police Academy movies AND for having two colons in it's title, was filmed there.  I saw PA5 soon after my stay at the hotel and felt some sort of weird connection over this shared knowledge.  Sadly, it wasn't the last time in my life I'd connect so deeply with a Police Academy movie.  Let's just say Proctor holds a special place in my heart and leave it at that...

The Cincinnati Bearcats have been staying at the Fontainbleau this week as they prepare for the Orange Bowl.  I can think of less auspicious places to stay in the greater Miami area than one of the biggest resorts on Miami Beach but hey, who am I to judge?  Well apparently there's one other person who agreed with the Bearcats on their choice of accomodations...Sean Combs a.k.a. Diddy.  Only problem is, when Diddy comes around, he's usually not traveling solo...

A New Year's party thrown by Diddy -- which I think is the name Sean "P. Diddy" Combs is now officially using -- could force the Cincinnati football team to switch hotels, Bill Koch reports in the Cincinnati Enquirer.

According to the story, the Bearcats may leave their plush digs at the Fontainebleau Hotel on Miami Beach because of the party, which is sure to draw celebs and gawkers and who knows what else. New Year's Eve happens to be the night before the FedEx Orange Bowl.

"It's just too much of a distraction, coach Brian Kelly told Koch. "We have secured another hotel. If things go the way I've seen them go in that hotel after 12 o'clock, we'll be in another hotel on New Year's Eve."

Who let this happen?  Who's in charge here?  Where is Commondant Lasard?

PROC-TOR!!!

By the way, here's what the Fontainbleau says about their upcoming New Year's Eve plans:

NEW YEAR'S EVE at Fontainebleau Miami Beach will serve nothing less than a night of pure entertainment and glamour, where couture crowds are again soaring across the bowtie floors.

Two things.  First, don't you just KNOW Gwyneth Paltrow is involved somehow?  And two...is it me or does that sentance just make you want to punch someone in the face and then chug a beer?