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Breaking: Shaquille O'Neal Shops. Eats.

I'm jaded, so you'll have to excuse me. I live in Los Angeles where I go out in the morning to buy Corn Flakes and by the time I get home I've seen three celebrities. So you'll have to excuse the fun I'm having in the Shaquille O'Neal MinutiaWatch 2008 that's going on in Syracuse right now.

(Okay, I might be exaggerating slightly. I don't eat Corn Flakes.)

Shaq is in town for tonight's exhibition match between the Suns and Nuggets and he's making the most of his time while in town. First, Shaq made a stop at the Carousel Mall and caught a matinee of The Express along with the rest of the Suns. (Just the right way to start things off, a group of African-American men arriving in Syracuse for the first time and watching a film that depicts all white Syracuse folk as racists).

Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly given the tepid audience for the film, O'Neal actually had no idea who Ernie Davis was before seeing the film:
O'Neal said he learned a lot about football and Syracuse by watching "The Express." He said he had never heard of Ernie Davis.

"I learned history today," O'Neal said. "A very touching movie. It was very informative. Every single kid should go watch this movie."
O'Neal then did what any of us do after learning history, he took in a workout at Ballys(!?!) and then "went shopping at Brookstone, where he bought an eye mask." First of all, Ballys? Did he have to sign up for one of those $10 down plans? Did he get a complimentary t-shirt? Why is Shaquille O'Neal working out in a mall? Why is ANYONE working out in a mall???

O'Neal finished up his stay at the mall with "two strawberry banana slushies from the Mr. Smoothie stand in the food court." Apparently his personal slushie maker couldn't make the flight.

But O'Neal's day was just getting started as he left the mall and made his way to Marshall Street. Once there, he went where any self-respecting athlete goes looking to fine tune their engine before a big physical content...Funk 'n Waffles.

Stay tuned today as my spies tell me Shaq has been in his bathroom for over a half-hour this morning and there's no sign he's coming out soon. There's something big a-brewin', I feel it...