Before we run down the How Fucked Are We update, one last reminder to get your vote in for the announced attendance at this weekend's SU-Akron game. Winner gets free bread. I can't stress that enough. FREE. BREAD.
Last Week: L 17-38 to Wisconsin
This Week: @ Syracuse (0-1)
How Fucked Are We?: Possibly more fucked than we care to admit. SU fans and pundits don't seem too enthused about our chances overall. Not so much because Akron has better weapons or anything even remotely dangerous. More so because we just don't trust the SU personnel to get it done. Regardless of the outcome, it looks like a close call. My prediction? SU 20, Akron 19.
Team: #19 Penn State
Last Week: W 66-10 over Coastal Carolina
This Week: Oregon State (0-1)
How Fucked Are We?: Assuming Penn State still has enough eligible players to take the field against us? Fairly fucked. We'll have the emotional boost of The Express and the season's best crowd to guide us. They'll have the superior talent, coaching and gameplay to help them out. Oy.
Last Week: L 14-48 Ball State
This Week: @ Georgia Southern (0-1)
How Fucked Are We?: Not fucked...we hope. Not much to add at this point. Then again, if we lose this week, the Northeastern game suddenly becomes a "must win," which is horrible.
Last Week: L to Bowling Green 17-27
This Week: Buffalo (1-0)
How Fucked Are We?: Possibly not too fucked. There's a legit chance Pitt could be 0-2 after this game and possibly even 0-3 by the time they face us. We might look like easy pickings at that point, or they might have quit on the Wannstache as well.
Team: @ #8 West Virginia
Last Week: W 48-21 Villanova
This Week: @ East Carolina (1-0)
How Fucked Are We?: I repeat what I said last week..."Are you fucking kidding? We're fucked. Fuckity fuck fucked. Fuck." East Carolina is frisky, coming off a huge upset over VT and hosting the Mountaineers. It's primed for an upset. Naturally, West Virginia will win by 30.
Team: @ #17 South Florida
Last Week: W 56-7 Tennessee-Martin
This Week: @ UCF
How Fucked Are We?: Just as fucked as above. USF ends their brief rivalry with UCF this weekend and I'm sure the Knights would love to send the high-falootin Bulls out on a sour note. But don't expect it.
Last Week: L 2-27 Kentucky
This Week: Tennessee Tech (1-0)
How Fucked Are We?: Not as fucked as first thought. Louisville is not very good. Not very good at all. Possibly as bad as us. This is good news.
Team: @ Rutgers
Last Week: L 7-24 Fresno State
This Week: North Carolina (1-0)
How Fucked Are We?: Probably fucked. The Knights got exposed bigtime last weekend as a pretender. Doesn't mean they're in any danger of losing to us at this point though. A loss to UNC could change that though...
Last Week: W 35-3 Hofstra
This Week: @ Temple (1-0)
How Fucked Are We?: Likely fucked.The Huskies are in some kind of weird pseudo Big East grudge match this weekend with a pissed-off Temple. They need to win this one for the Big East, lest anyone get any ideas about kicking out Syracuse to make room for the resurgent Owl powerhouse.
Team: @ Notre Dame
Last Week: N/A
This Week: San Diego State (0-0)
How Fucked Are We?: Probably fucked. We'll see just how over-hyped and vanilla the Irish are this weekend, but I still can't imagine we have much of a shot of winning in South Bend. Touchdown Jesus wouldn't allow it. Neither would Touchdown Hanukkah Harry.
Last Week: W 40-7 Eastern Kentucky
This Week: @ Oklahoma
How Fucked Are We?: Likely fucked. Expect the Bearcats to put up a good fight this weekend but fall short. After that, they'll be extremely battle-tested and looking for a quality bowl-ensuring win by the time they get to us. The fuckage will conclude here.