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Skynet Is Online, Hates Syracuse

What is real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain. And if that's the case, when I watch another Syracuse football season begin tomorrow and they lose by thirty, did it really happen or is it just what my brain interprets happening?

No, it's probably real.


But in the hours leading up to the real thing, the computers have taken over. Just ask The Axeman, who peers into the rabbit hole and asks you
whether or not you'll take the red pill again. Even if you decide not to, some computers have already made the decision for you. And that decision seems to be that Syracuse will be as bad as you think they will.

WhatIf Sports has simulated the entire 2008 CFB season 1,000 times based on statistics and expectations and come up with what they feel is a realistic interpretation of how the season will play out. Below is the their breakdown of the SU season based on how often the winning team won and the average score. You may want to shield your eyes...

Week 1 (Northwestern) - Syracuse wins 23% of the time (19-33)
Week 2 (Akron) - Syracuse wins 55.7% of the time (24-15)

Week 3 (Penn State) - Syracuse wins 5% of the time (18-36)

Week 4 (Northeastern) - Syracuse wins 95% of the time (36-6)

Week 5 (Pittsburgh) - Syracuse wins 9.8% of the time (19-32)

Bye Week - Syracuse wins 15% of the time (ba dum ching!)

Week 6 (West Virginia) - Syracuse wins 5% of the time (12-41)

Week 7 (South Florida) - Syracuse wins 5% of the time (16-33)

Week 8 (Louisville) - Syracuse wins 5% of the time (25-39)

Week 9 (Rutgers) - Syracuse wins 13.1% of the time (17-37)

Week 10 (UConn) - Syracuse wins 8.2% of the time (16-33)

Week 11 (Notre Dame) - Syracuse wins 9.8% of the time (13-32)

Week 12 (Cincy) - Syracuse wins 5% of the time (13 - 40)


Yep, that's 2-10 again. Awesome.
In case you're wondering, West Virginia wins the Big East, goes undefeated in the regular season but loses to Clemson in the Orange Bowl. South Florida (11-1) goes to the Gator Bowl, UConn (7-5) goes to the St. Petersburg Bowl, Pitt (10-2) goes to the Meineke Car Care Bowl, Cincy (9-4) goes to the Texas Bowl and Louisville (7-5) goes Papajohns.com Bowl. Rutgers and Syracuse stay home for the winter and the Big East gets locked out of the International Bowl. This is terrible...

As if that wasn't enough, WhatIf Sports also rates Syracuse as
the #102 team in the nation, just behind Memphis and Arkansas State. The good news? Stanford, NC State and Iowa State all rank lower than us. The bad news, based on last night's results, that's probably not true in Stanford and Iowa State's cases.

So if we've learned a lesson here, it's that computers hate Syracuse. But wait! Maybe that's not entirely true... Surely there are other simulators out there. Perhaps ones run by Rivals.com? And perhaps those simulators actually think that Syracuse can beat Northwestern this weekend?
With four minutes remaining Northwestern had one more chance to go in for the winning score. They moved the ball all the way up to the Syracuse 17 yard line and used their final timeout with 53 seconds to go. On the next play Bacher was looking to throw into the end zone but the ball was tipped and intercepted by A.J. Brown, who ran the ball out to the Syracuse 32 yard line. Andrew Robinson came in to take a knee and the Orange escaped Ryan Field with a 40-35 win over Northwestern.
Can we just say that happened and not actually play the game? Please???

(HT: John M)