clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

I'm Sure Jonny Had A Perfectly Good, Non-Alcohol-Related Reason For Being There

Fine work by the Daily Orange Sports Blog, uncovering the tragic results of a bar fight in Niagara. Syracuse University mourns the loss of one of its own...windshields.
Falls police used pepper spray to control several brawls that broke out in the Third Street entertainment district early Sunday morning.

Four people were arrested after incidents involving patrons at Club New York, Braggs Tavern and Uncs Tavern.

During the bottle throwing, police said the windshield of a car being used by former Niagara Falls High School and now Syracuse University basketball star Jonny Flynn was smashed. The car was parked outside of Braggs at the time of the incident.

There was no indication from police of whether Flynn, who is only 19, was in the bars or involved in any of the melees.
First of all, I think I speak for all Syracuse fans when I say, "JONATHAN, PLEASE ONLY DRINK IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME OR DORM ROOM FROM NOW ON."

Second, why does this all sound so familiar? Bar fight...violence...Syracuse-related. Jesus all makes sense now. Jonny Flynn was the informant who turned in Marvin Harrison and now Marv is hellbent on vengeance! It starts with a message, like say a smashed windshield. Next? A smashed kneecap!?!? RUN, JONNY, RUN! Go to our special place in Saskatoon, the one we agreed to meet up at in case anything went wrong. Don't try and contact me, I'll contact you. GO NOW!

Speaking of Mr. Harrison, he's officially
told the Colts that he had nothing to do with the shooting, despite the discovery that his gun was used. It's a nice gesture but unfortunately, someone else has already ruined the "tell the team I didn't do it and everything will be okay" tactic.

Getting back to this whole Flynn-windshield-bar-fight business, I like to think there's an intern at the Daily Orange who's job it is to rummaging through every local Upstate New York newspaper police blotter for nuggets like this. Ankle-chained in the basement, he or she is delivered three stacks of dailies (a stack of weeklies on Thursday!), a six-pack of Mr. Pibb and a dozen of
Sal's Birdland wings (with NO Sassy Sauce!) and told not to call for the editors until he or she has found something juicy. Then and only then...

Sassy Sauce.