I was shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond over the weekend looking for curtain rods (I lead a charmed life) when I came across a bin in the middle of the aisle that struck me as odd. As you can see to the right, it was full of giant pillows. But not just any pillows, NFL team pillows. And not just any team, the Buffalo Bills.A crate of giant Buffalo Bills pillows.
In Los Angeles.
Notice that there isn't a crate of Raiders pillows next to it. Nor a crate of Chargers pillows. Hell, not even a couple Rams pillows for the few remaining holdouts. Nope, the powers-that-be at the Bed, Bath & Beyond distribution center decided that if they were going to increase profits at this LA store, it would best be done by sending a bushel of pillows bearing the insignia of a football team from a city 2,500 miles away.
I keep imagining the meeting that transpired in order for these pillows to come from the manufacturer to the warehouse into the bin here at my local Bed, Bath & Beyond and I'm convinced it went something like this:
BB&B Regional Manager: You got Bills pillows. Bed, Bath & Beyond paid good money. Get customers to buy them. You can't sell the pillows you're given, you can't sell shit, YOU ARE shit, hit the bricks pal, and beat it, 'cause you are going OUT.
BB&B Store Manager: The pillows are weak.
BB&B Regional Manager:"The pillows are weak." The fucking pillows are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years...
BB&B Store Manager: What's your name?
BB&B Regional Manager: Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight to the Bed, Bath & Beyond, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. THAT'S my name.
OR...there's another explanation. A completely sinister and devious one. An explanation that reveals one of the greatest, most intense viral campaigns ever known. L.A. needs a football team, right? And there's always rumors swirling about the Bills, you know, since it's a smaller market and all that. What if, and just what if...this is part one of a guerrilla tactic by the NFL to slowly integrate Bills merchandise into the Greater Los Angeles area and prepare the fanbase for the eventual arrival of the Los Angeles Bills of Redondo Beach in 2011???
It's something to chew on. Of course, if that's the case, clearly, they're going to need a bigger profit margin to pay for the stadium.
