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Holding On To WeightGate And Not Letting Go

Hey, I dedicated at least six posts to Scoop Jardine and his cheesesteak-stealing cousin, you think I'm not gonna go back to the well on this?

Checking in with Paul Chiara and Mikhail Marinovich, they of the Great Manley Weight Room Jewel Heist (allegedly), some more details have filled in the blanks courtesy of the
Post-Standard's Michele Reaves.

First of all, it's confirmed that "the two were impaired by alcohol" which is an awesome way to put it and one I wish I had thought of myself.

Son, are you drunk???
Me: No Dad, it's the alcohol. It impaired me.
Dad: Gosh's not your fault, son. DAMN YOU ALCOHOL! DAMN YOU TO ALCOHOL HELL!!!

So many sleepless nights with the beltmarks still red upon my ass could have been avoided. Alas...

So what exactly did they do once inside Manley?
Chiara and Marinovich broke a roll up metal gate/window as well as the cylinder lock to the gate. The gate leads to the equipment room. They also broke a piece of wood molding near the roll up gate, the report stated.
I've read that five times and I still don't understand what they did exactly. The report might as well have said "they broke shit" and it would have been just as clear.

My favorite part is that the two of them actually gave chase when the cops and campus safety showed up. Although to be fair, I have to admit that freshman year I hide in a closet when the RAs broke up a party we were having in our dorm room. It's just human nature I suppose. Shockingly, I was found. I'm still pretty happy with my reaction though:

(Door slides open)
...and I think I'll go with this shirt tomorrow with those slacks. What do you think?
The two ran from Manley Field House and Syracuse police helped University public safety officers chase them down...Marinovich was caught in the 800 block of Lancaster Avenue. Chiara was caught at the corner of East Colvin Street and Lancaster Avenue.
Um, am I the only one wondering if someone clocked their time when they ran? Never hurts to be able to say you ran a 4.7 cop-assisted 40. You never know when scouts are lurking in the bushes with radar guns.

So what happens next? Nothing, probably. The two will be punished internally, we'll never quite know exactly how. It won't involve them being ineligible from any games. And life will go on. Ultimately, it's just a dumb thing two college kids did and hopefully they'll be wiser for it.

But in all seriousness it raises a good point (which I tip my hat to
Cuse Chronicles' AEM for)...God forbid something really bad happens involving an SU athlete, like Duke Lacrosse bad. SU is going to try to "handle the matter appropriately internally" like they always do. But what if the story becomes national? How will SU's internal policy hold up under the spotlight and scrutiny? Look at how badly Duke messed up their own fiasco...think of how much worse SU will make it if it happens to them.