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Who Among Us Hasn't Purposefully Tried To Damage Their Roommate's Cornea?

Say what you will about Scoop Jardine's suspension but the reasons behind it are ultimately fairly tame. Especially when you consider the many terrible things someone can do to get themselves indefinitely suspended from the basketball team.

For instance...

[Washington State free safety Xavier Hicks] was arrested for second-degree assault for allegedly putting rubbing alcohol in teammate and roommate Grady Maxwell's contact-lens case.

...this apparently stemmed from a problem with their cable bill. Maxwell paid half of the bill, about $40, before leaving for Christmas and Hicks apparently was supposed to pay the bill.

When Maxwell returned after the holiday break, cable service had been turned off because the bill wasn't paid. It ultimately turned into an unprecedented contact-lens caper.

Seeing that his contact lenses had gotten larger than usual, Maxwell pulled them out and sniffed them, wisely choosing not to put them in his eyes after smelling rubbing alcohol.

If he had put them in, here's what could have happened, according to Issaquah optometrist Mark Jensen: at best, corneal abrasion and irritation and a great deal of discomfort for two or three days. At worst, burning and scarring and a chance for decreased vision, but not blindness.

"Until people get a corneal abrasion, they don't understand what pain is," Jensen said.

Clearly Hicks is a man of principle. He's the one who didn't pay the bill but it's Maxwell's fault for getting mad about it. missed the last two episodes of Gossip Girl, big friggin' deal. Maybe if you'd have chipped in for that Tivo you wouldn't have been in this mess to begin with.

Seriously though Maxwell, sleep with both eyes firmly shut, covered and incapable of being opened.