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Daryl Gross Gives You Women's Ice Hockey And You Will Like It

So everyone's been so up in arms about the cancellation of the SU Swimming & Diving programs that they've forgotten about the reason it's happening in the first place. Syracuse is venturing into the financially-lucrative world of women's ice hockey. And the day is approaching when the team will begin its inaugural season.

The Department of Athletics unveils its newest intercollegiate sport this fall when women's ice hockey makes its debut. The Orange officially begins its inaugural season when the puck drops on October 3. The squad's first opponent is yet to be determined.

Of course, this development is in no small part to the determination, grit and all-around greatness of SU's Athletics Director DOCTOR Daryl Gross. So great is the path that Gross' has cut a swath through for the growth of Syracuse Athletics that an entire paragraph in the announcement is dedicated solely to that:

Gross expects to name a head coach after the 2008 Frozen Four in late March. Since coming to Syracuse in 2005, Dr. Gross has assembled one of the best coaching staffs in the country. In addition to basketball Hall of Famer Jim Boeheim and three-time national champion lacrosse coach John Desko, Gross has brought aboard lacrosse legend Gary Gait and French Open tennis champion Luke Jensen to assemble what he calls a "Nobel Prize-Winning" staff.

Actually, you can think of the SU coaches more like
Voltron. Jensen and Desko are the feet and legs. Gait is the right arm. Naturally, Boeheim forms the head. But we need a left arm desperately. The ice hockey coach, whomever he or she is, will be that left arm for us.

Oh and apparently Quentin Hillsman can go F himself if he thinks a 21-win season puts him on the "Nobel Prize-Winning" Staff. Call DOCTOR Gross when you win a NCAA Tournament game, Q.

Seriously though, this "announcement" about the women's ice hockey team contains 253 words. 155 of them are spoken by or directly in reference to DOCTOR Gross. That's 61% if you're scoring at home.

Keep an eye on all things SU Hockey over at, uh,