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He's Already Used To Losing In Miami So That's A Start

The alabaster white skin of Paul Pasqualoni.

The 90 degree heat and sweltering sun of Miami.

Two great tastes that taste great together.

It's official, Coach P will be the new Miami Dolphins D-Coordinator. Team Parcells filled in the gaps on their coaching staff and have officially finished raiding Cowboys' facilities after realizing there were no other assistant coaches hiding in the towel bin.

Will Smith once said "you gotta have cheese for the summerhouse piece on South Beach" so hopefully Coach P is getting a nice pay bump out of the deal. Smith also said he'd "never seen so many Dominican women with cinnamon tans" so that's a nice bonus for P as well.

Like a jaded ex-boyfriend who can't stop talking about how much he doesn't care about his ex-girlfriend anymore, Cuse Nation is a-twitter over the news. Possibly the most vocal of his un-well-wishers when he was fired,
Axe is wishing Coach P well...kinda. The Three Idiots and they're so-bad-its-good headline send their best to Paul as well. Bud Poliquin is impressed by P's rise up the NFL ranks.

Central NYers can look forward to a yearly visit from their old friend now. As if Bills fans needed another reason to detest the Dolphins...