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I've felt an emptiness within myself these last few days and I'm sure you have as well. It's the lack of the deliciously sublime humor that only the meticulously-upbeat hub for all things Cuse sports can provide when it truly wants to. Well you shall want no more, for provides....

When you're dealing with a mastermind like DOCTOR Daryl Gross, you're dealing with experiences and decisions you couldn't possibly understand. You spent all that time asking why Greg Robinson kept his job when you should have been asking "what makes me think I could possible understand the criteria that goes into such a decision? I mean, it's not like I can look into the future and see what's going to happen." No, you can't. BUT DARYL GROSS CAN!!!

Syracuse University head cross country and track & field coach Chris Fox will continue to lead the Orange programs through 2013 after agreeing to a multi-year contract extension, Director of Athletics Dr. Daryl Gross announced today. In his first three seasons at Syracuse, Fox has directed the men and women’s cross country and track & field programs to athletic prominence and his teams will be national powers in the future.

You hear that? Buy your orange Real Men Run Cross Country t-shirt now before it's too late, the team is already winning it's second national title and you look like a front-running fool. It's destined to be! Don't you see! Deep within the walls of Manley Field House lies The Great Orange-y Eye and DOCTOR Gross uses it to see what no mortal man can see. He uses it to peer into the unknown and gather forth the mysteries of the universe. Will man ever set foot on far-away planets? Will humankind evolve into a higher form of being? Will Syracuse's shot-putter ever break the 70 foot barrier?

Clearly, the answer is yes. Well, to the last question at least.

Unfortunately, what SUAthletics isn't telling you is that Chris Fox and his Cross Country hordes will not not just stop at the Big East championship. They will move South, conquer Washington D.C., begin the great cleansing of 2012 and rule the world for the next forty years as a world government organization known as The Protectorship. All will hail the mighty Father Fox. All will kneel at his feet.

And what SUAthletics REALLY isn't telling you is that forty years from now a group of freedom fighters led by Donte Greene II will storm Fox Manor to usurp their shadowy overlord only to find that it is not Fox but Daryl Gross whom they have feared all these years. In a drawn-out and overly-elaborate diatribe, Gross will explain how he saw this chilling vision of dystopia and decided to dispose of Fox in a coup. But absolute power corrupts absolutely and he has quietly been pulling the strings ever since.

So I think the point is, keep you head down, congratulate Coach Fox if you see him, pretend to believe whatever SUAthletics tells you and begin preparing for the end times...they cometh.