clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

I Leave For Four Days And All Of A Sudden Cameron Dantley Is My Quarterback

I'm more overwhelmed than Greg Robinson on gameday right now, bear with me.

Just got back from a weekend in Miami Beach, where the mojito's flow like wine and the old Jews instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. It was a friend's wedding and I was in the wedding party so there was about a 95% chance that at any given moment I was doing uncomfortable things while 80 degree heat. I would never cut it as a Hasidic Jew.

One thing I wasn't doing was watching football. I caught only glimpses of the weekend and I was as confused as I was sweaty. The ESPNNews ticker was my only solace. I saw everything in snippets of information. Kansas scored 70+ points, UConn's deal with Satan was signed in blood, Syracuse was led statistically by someone named was all too much.

The wedding was on Sunday so the NFL wasn't an option either.
Thanks, friend. Humorously enough, one of my fellow groomsmen had this to say Sunday morning.

"I was talking to GROOM last night and he got all serious all of a sudden. Started saying "I know I'm supposed to be all excited for tomorrow, but..." and I thought he was about to tell me he had second thoughts or that he didn't love her. Instead he said "but all I can think about is Pat-Colts. I've got Brady on my fantasy team."

Thankfully, his wife doesn't read this. I know we constantly complain about how TV shows make guys about to be oafs that only think of sports, but...well...I guess I understand.

Another thing about this weekend, it's always been fascinating to me to step outside my world and see how the other sports half lives. I saw two little kids wearing Miami Hurricanes jerseys at the hotel and immediately thought two things.

1. Those little fuckers.

2. People really do root for Miami, huh?

I've hated them for so long and for such good reasons that it's hard to comprehend why someone would root for them (front-running aside, of course). But hey, if you grew up in Miami I guess that's how it works. You don't have too many choices to the contrary. I just can't imagine how insufferable you must be at parties.

Anyway, this was all my way of saying I'm back and I'm catching up...stay tuned...