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People Outside Central New York Have Noticed SU Sucks Too

You may have thought Syracuse sucked before now, but you would be wrong. It became official today when, at 6:26pm, ESPN posted their piece on, well, Syracuse sucking.

The Orange -- who, it should be noted, consistently play the toughest nonconference schedule in the Big East -- have lost nine of their past 10 games by an average of more than three touchdowns. They are off to their worst start (0-3) since 1986 and have been outscored 118-32 by three teams (Washington, Iowa, Illinois) that went a combined 13-24 last season. Syracuse is 5-21 overall and 1-13 in the Big East under third-year coach Greg Robinson, who has a great chance to become the first coach to post three consecutive losing seasons at a school that launched its football program 118 years ago.

But wait, that's not the worst of it:

A ticket scalper told The Syracuse Post-Standard that business outside the Carrier Dome was the worst since he started in 1984.

The horror! The macabre! If Syracuse's sleazy ticket scalping industry is rocked to its core, who will harass suburbanites looking for a place to park? Who will smell six kinds of awful standing next to fans in the parking lot? Who will buy crack from Syracuse's enterprising drug dealing students? What
price, football success?

Thankfully, quarterback Andrew "Rumsfeld" Robinson is staying positive:


"Everybody has misinformed opinions from reading the
newspapers and drawing their opinions from that."

It's a good point. If people would just stop reading newspapers, looking at box scores, watching games on TV and attending games, then there would be a lot more positive talk about the Orange right now. People get so caught up in "facts" and "truth" that they forget to look at the big picture. Everything is okay...nothing to see here...go about your business...procreate...breed...spend...live.


When asked of his thoughts on if Syracuse had the athletes to compete in the Big East, Robinson replied:


"You play football with the team you have, not the football team you might want or wish to have at a later time."

And on reports about the fact that Syracuse hasn't won a game yet:


"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."