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Like Maple Syrup, Canada's Evil Oozes Over The United States.

"The Canadians. They walk among us. William Shatner. Michael J. Fox. Monty Hall. Mike Meyers. Alex Trebek. All of them Canadians. All of them here."

"There it is, men. Toronto."

It's beautiful. Like no other city I've ever seen. It's like Albany. Only cleaner."

It's not often I get the chance to quote
Canadian Bacon, Michael Moore's foray into narrative film, but that's probably for the best. It's not very good. But it does touch on something many of us Americans never really talk about...our long-simmering hatred for Canadians. Oh, you might not think you hate Canadians...but you do. YOU DO!!!

That's what makes the knowledge that Andy Rautins will be
playing for the Canadian National Team in the Pan Am Games so hard to take. I feel like President Scroob in Spaceballs...why didn't someone tell me we had a Canuck on the team!?!

Oh, and it gets worse:

There is a chance that Rautins could then find a spot on Canada's Senior National Team, which will participate in the Americas Olympic Qualifying Tournament in Las Vegas in August. The top two teams in the Americas qualifier earn automatic berths in the 2008 Olympics.

I can't believe people like Rautins are here, stealing spots on the SU basketball roster from hard-working Americans...and for less in bribes and under-the-table freebies I'm sure. How can we compete?
All those Lou Dobbs bumper stickers on my car...for nothing!

I guess I'll just have to join the cause. I won't let the memory of true Americans like Marius Janulis and Elvir Ovcina down.