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I've Just Been Handed An Urgent And Horrifying News Story

I just opened my in-box to see an email from The Daily Orange with the headline BREAKING NEWS! My heart raced...what could it be? Jimmy B in the hospital? Daryl Gross finding a way to fit the Houston Texans into a home-and-home? Andy Rautins' shooting hand mauled by an alligator at the Syracuse Zoo?

Swish: SU to debut sleek uniforms from Nike soon.

Oh.


The Syracuse men's basketball team will unveil new form-fitting uniforms either Saturday against Villanova, in the Big East tournament next week or in the NCAA Tournament, a Nike official confirmed Thursday afternoon. Ohio State, Florida and Arizona are the other three schools that will wear the sleeker uniforms in postseason play, Nike spokesman Brian Facchini said.

Apparently the Ohio State jerseys will feature the logo of LeBron James, he who did not attend Ohio State but most-likely-probably-we-think would have attended the school had he gone to college. Rest easy, no Bron-Bron on the Cuse jerseys. We get Elvir Ovcina's logo instead, which is the silhouette of a screaming Syracuse fan shouting "NOOOO!!!"

Facchini said SU's home jerseys will be white with "Orange" written across the chest in orange lettering and the orange road jerseys will feature "Syracuse" across the chest in white lettering.
He said the uniforms will be tighter against the body - which will give opponents less to grip onto - and feature a moisture-management system that reduces the affect of perspiration.

Hope for the best, Cuse fans, but prepare for the worst. Remember, no matter what good Nike does in this world, they're still responsible for this.