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So Many Bowl Games, So Little Interest

Well, bowl season is upon us! Rejoice! Oh the tradition, the pageantry, the bowls with sponsors that are more popular for sponsoring a bowl than for doing whatever it is they really do. I thought I'd take the opportunity to preview the upcoming bowls this week and weekend but it seriously pains me to do so. If any of these games were on during a regular college football Saturday, you wouldn't even bat an eyelash before changing the channel to CourtTV's Body of Evidence (Dayle Hinman lovers, you know who you are).

Date: Tuesday, December 19th @ 5pm
Bowl: Poin
settia Bowl (San Diego)
Matchup: TCU (10-2) vs. Northern Illinois (7-5)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: No. Illinois' RB Garrett Wolfe needs 100 yards for 2,000 yards on the season.
He'll have to do it against the nation's No. 4 rushing defense.

Date: Thursday, December 21st @5pm
Bowl:
Las Vegas Bowl (Las Vegas, NV)
Matchup:
Oregon (7-5) vs. BYU (10-2)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: BYU is better than this. Their two losses were heartbreakers to BCS conference teams. Expect a lot of points. Also, expect to see this:

Date: Friday, December 22nd
Bowl:
New Orleans Bowl (New Orleans, LA)
Matchup:
Rice (7-5) vs. Troy (7-5)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: Because if you don't watch every sporting event that takes place in New Orleans, the terrorists will win.

Date: Saturday, December 23rd
Bowl:
Papajohns.com Bowl (Birmingham, AL)
Matchup:
South Florida (8-4) vs. East Carolina (7-5)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: Bulls QB Matt Grothe was Rookie of the Year in the Big East and South Florida is a program "going places."

Date: Saturday, December 23rd
Bowl:
New Mexico Bowl (Albuquerque, NM)
Matchup:
San Jose State (8-4) vs. New Mexico (6-6)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: I'm sorry, this just sounds horrible. Let's forget this game is even happening...

Date: Saturday, December 23rd
Bowl:
Armed Forces Bowl (Fort Worth, Texas)
Matchup:
Tulsa (8-4) vs. Utah (7-5)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: Oh how mighty powerhouse Utah has fallen...if you root for Boise State, this is your fate!!! As for watching this one...um...yeah, I got nothing.

Date: Sunday, December 24th
Bowl:
Hawaii Bowl (Honolulu, HI)
Matchup:
Hawaii (10-3) vs. Arizona State (7-5)
Seriously, give me one reason to watch this for five minutes: Colt Brennan chuks at least four TDs a game. June Jones in a Hawaiian t-shirt. Jerry Glanville is prominently involved. Come to think of it, why haven't we been watching Hawaii football all season?