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I Can't Drive (44)

You've graduated from Syracuse and you're in the bookstore for one last chance to spend too much money on items not nearly worth what they're priced at. You grab a Syracuse alumni bumper sticker. An SU flag to hang our your window. You've got your Maxwell School of Citizenship license plate holder for both sides of the car.

One don't have a car.

Well I'm here to tell you that your dreams have been answered. For the SU fan who has it all and felt the Dukes of Hazzard car lacked panache, I present you with the #44 Orange Club Car.

The car is "SU Orange" and detailed with a blue stripe down the center and giant #44's on the doors.

The custom painted 2001 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, brought to us by the good folks at East Syracuse Chevrolet, will be on display in the Dome through the end of December. Then, the moment of truth will arrive on January 23rd when an eBay auction will begin and the car will be sold to the highest bidder.

But if you click back over to that SU Athletics page, I have to bring up non-related items that are both mesmerizing and disturbing. The first is the image of Jim Boeheim "celebrating" his impending 1,000th coaching win.

Look at him. He looks like that uncle at your Bar Mitzvah (assuming your Jewish) who's doing his best to dance along to Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" (Yah-hoo!). The very idea of celebrating anything actually pains Jimmy B.

Second, scroll down a little and you'll see a murder's row of SU folks whom you can "Ask a question."

Greg, I don't have any questions but I would like to wipe that smug look off your face. Beat a Big East team that's been playing Division 1-A football for more than five years, then we can get chummy.

Daryl, um...thanks for putting down the nitrous long enough for us to take this photo.

Jim, you're right. That was a tikki-tak foul. My mistake.