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Saturday Is My Master

Not too shabby last night, huh? Went 3-0 overall (although 1-2 against the spread). Let's take a look at the upcoming weekend and just because I can, we'll look through the songs of Ben Folds to help describe each pick.

Remember, all rankings are ours here at TNIAAM (scroll down to see entire poll).

Game: #2 Florida at #11 Auburn
Line: Florida -2
Song: There's Always Someone Cooler Than You

Like you’ve got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do

There’s always someone out there cooler than you"

Good advice for the top teams in the SEC. Just put your heads down and play football cause as soon as someone annoints you the shiznit, around the bend comes someone to knock you on your ass.
Final Score: Auburn 17 Florida 13

Game: #18 Nebraska at Kansas State
Line: Nebraska -8.5
Song: "Missing The War"

"I'm missing the war
I'm missing the war all night"

This game could have had Game of the Year potential a few years ago when both were perenial National Title contenders. Now they'll both kill for a Cotton Bowl berth.

Final Score: Nebraska 28 Kansas State 20

Game: Syracuse at #5 West Virginia
Line: West Virginia -25
Song: Uncle Walter

"your Uncle Walter's going on and on
about everything he's seen and done
the voice of 50 years experience
he's drunk watching the television"

For every Syracuse alum who has to make up for last year's 1-10 performance by referencing a National Championship that no one else remembers, a Heisman Trophy winner no one else remembers and a few recent good seasons that no one else remembers.

Final Score: West Virginia 41 Syracuse 14

Game: Arizona State at #4 USC
Line: USC -18.5
Song: Rockstar

"So you're time is encroached now
You’re image is dumbed down

You’re full of it now, w
hat about when it runs out
Maybe you'll come back
Yeah, maybe I’ll be here
You’re already gone, s
o just go cause their waiting for you"

Now that USC's feeling a little exposed, the rest of the Pac-1o is licking its chops. Alas, now that all the "USC is weak" talk has crested...

Final Score: USC 41 Arizona State 24

Game: #3 Michigan at Penn State
Line: Micigan -6
Song: Boxing

"boxing's been good to me, Howard
now I'm told,
"you're growing old"
the whole time we knew
a couple of years I'd be through
has boxing been good to you?"

It was a good run, JoePa. Hang'em up, will ya?

Final Score: Michigan 28 Penn State 20

Game: #1 Ohio State at Michigan State
Line: Ohio State -14
Song: Battle of Who Could Care Less

"do you not hear me anymore?
I know it's not your thing to care
I know it's cool to be so bored"

Let the record show...Michigan State is packing it in the rest of the season. No team watches thier head coach slap himself on national television and then decides he's worth playing for.

Final Score: Ohio State 45 Michigan State 14

Game: #16 Iowa at Indiana
Line: Iowa -19.5
Song: Song For The Dumped

"give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch"

Poor Indiana students, buying that season ticket pass back in July. $70 for 5 home games sounded a lot better back then.

Final Score: Iowa 37 Indiana 13

Game: Iowa State at #21 Oklahoma
Line: Oklahoma -19.5
Song: Evaporated

"don't you know I'm numb, man, no,
I can't feel a thing at all, 'cause it's
all smiles and business these days
and I'm indifferent to the loss

I poured my heart out
and I poured my heart out
it evaporated...see?"

So much for this season, eh Oklahoma?

Final Score: Oklahoma 30 Iowa State 20

Game: Vanderbilt at #15 Georgia
Line: Georgia -14
Song: Jesusland

"Down the tracks
Beautiful McMansions on a hill
That overlook a highway
With riverboat casinos and you still
Have yet to see a soul

It's one of those Georgia seasons that reminds you on the entire 90's. This one's got 9-4 Citrus Bowl written all over it.

Final Score: Georgia 31 Vanderbilt 9

Game: #24 Rutgers at Navy
Line: Navy -2.5
Song: Rockin' The Suburbs

"I'm rockin' the suburbs
just like Jon Bon Jovi did
I'm rockin' the suburbs
except that he was talented"

Some could argue the "talented" portion of that lyric but, not in New Jersey. And you certainly won't find too many arguing the "talent" of this Rutgers team, least not until after this game.

Final Score: Navy 18 Rutgers 17

Game: SE Missouri State at #23 Arkansas
Line: Arkansas -44
Song: For Those Of Ya'll That Wear Fannypacks

"for those of ya'll that wear fannie packs,
ya come on!
for those of ya'll that wear fannie packs,
come on!"

I'm just making an assumption that the people of Southeastern Missouri and the people of Arkansas still trade the Fannypack market. I really don't think I'm wrong though.

Final Score: Arkansas 50 SE Missouri 21

Game: UCLA at #22 Oregon
Line: Oregon -9
Song: Steven's Last Night in Town

"he's charmed everyone here, except Tamara Easter
who later revealed to him her innermost secrets
won us over with stories about Linda McCartney
lost points with the ladies for saying
he couldn't love a woman with cellulite"

If UCLA was a guy, this would be him. A smary, condescending, poumpous name-dropping LA asshole. He's still the shit...if today is 1970...and he's playing basketball.

Final Score: Oregon 34 UCLA 20

Game: Cincinatti at #6 Louisville
Line: Louisville -25
Song: One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces

"now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me check the papers and the TV
look who's telling who what to do...kiss my ass"

Lousiville is done taking your shit. And after they beat West Virginia and finish the season undefeated with a healthy Brian Brohm, they'll be sure to let you know that.

Final Score: Louisville 49 Cincinatti 16

Game: #19 Missouri at Texas A&M
Line: Missouri -2
Song: Army

"well, I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
and I thought, "yeah, there's a first for everything"
so, I took my old man's advice"

I'm a college football child of the late 80's, so you'll have to excuse me when my instinct is to pick Texas A&M in this one. I know Missouri's good and undefeated and all but now that Wake has gone down and Rutgers is about to as well, it just seems appropriate that the Tigers join them.

Final Score: Texas A&M 20 Missouri 13

Game: #10 Cal at Washington State
Line: Cal -8.5
Song: Kate

"everyday she wears the same thing
I think she smokes pot
she's everything I want
she's everything I'm not"

That's Cal for you. The Berkeley kids and thier liberal attitudes and flower that ties in with a budding football power that's on the verge of taking over the Pac-10, I don't know.

Final Score: Cal 38 Washington State 28

Game: Baylor at #7 Texas
Line: Texas -27
Song: Landed

"Come pick me up
I've landed"

Welcome back to perennial #7-8-9 rankings for the next few years Texas. We missed you.

Final Score: Texas 35 Baylor 6

Game: Kentucky at #20 LSU
Line: LSU -26.5
Song: Evaporated

"what I've kept with me and what I've thrown away
and where the hell I've ended up
on this glary, random day
were the things I really cared about
just left along the way
for being too pent up and proud?"

I really think in ten years we're gonna look back on LSU's National Championship the way we look back on Georgia Tech's 1990 one. "Wait, what? Did they? When was that again?"

Final Score:
LSU 38 Kentucky 21

Game: #14 Boise State at New Mexico State
Line: Boise State -26
Song: Learn To Live With What You Are

There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching
All you need is the thing you forgotten
And that's to learn to live with what you are

Boise...I don't know what to tell you. I'm rooting for you, I really am, but, New Mexico State??? C'mon...

Final Score: Boise State 38 New Mexico State 14