It's that time again. The time to start thinking about your Fall wedding plans and how your betrothal is going to ruin the lives of everyone around you.
Jason Kirk over at SBNation wrote the definitive guide to scheduling (and not scheduling) your fall wedding based on the college football schedule. Now let's take it one step further and figure out the best and worst weekends for a Syracuse Orange fan to schedule their wedding between the last weekend in August and the last weekend in November.
Weekend of Saturday, August 30 - vs. Villanova Wildcats
Should You Have Your Wedding: Maybe. The game is actually scheduled for Friday night, so, as long as you're cool with having your rehearsal dinner at an Irish Pub, you're golden come Saturday. Still, remember that it's the first game of the season. Hope springs eternal. Syracuse fans want to believe in something this weekend. They want to believe that this is the beginning of something special. That this is a magic that's going to last a lifetime. That what starts today is forever and ever, amen.
You and your beloved can wait. We've got important things to invest our hearts in.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Cost-conscious couples getting married on a Friday.
Weekend of Saturday, September 6 - Bye Week
Should You Have Your Wedding: YES! Everyone, lock in this date as your wedding date right now. It's a bye week so there's no conflict and it's early enough in the season that we're not going to miss too many important games because we have to do the Locomotion with you.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Everyone can have their wedding this weekend. In fact, please sign my White House petition to make it law.
Weekend of Saturday, September 13 - at Central Michigan Chippewas
Should You Have Your Wedding: Syracuse is playing a road game against a MAC team. This is the very definition of the uneasy easy SU match-up. We're supposed to win by 20 so we'll undoubtedly be down five with a minute left. Orange fans will need to have their attention fixed and they can't waste time wishing you and your loved one a lifetime of happiness. I say no.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Anyone who live in the center of Michigan. Talk about dream crushing to the 27 Syracuse fans who live there.
Weekend of Saturday, September 20 - vs. Maryland Terrapins
Should You Have Your Wedding: In theory, Syracuse comes into the game 2-0 and has a realistic chance to move to 3-0. Why do you hate us so much? No wedding.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Jewish families who have relatives that attended Syracuse and relatives who attended Maryland. So, roughly, all of the Jewish families.
Weekend of Saturday, September 27 - vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish (MetLife)
Should You Have Your Wedding: The (theoretical) 3-0 Orange are due to win one of these MetLife games eventually, right? RIGHT? This is the year! Maybe! Probably not! Regardless, this game is nationally-televised and will actually be played in front of a decent crowd. Shame on you for even asking.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Syracuse fans who live in the Tri-State Area. So, 65% of them.
Weekend of Saturday, October 4 - vs. Louisville Cardinals
Should You Have Your Wedding: Yes? Here's another Friday nighter so you're getting off lucky if you have the usual Saturday wedding planned. Just don't expect too much from us at the rehearsal dinner and don't kick off the ceremony too early in case we win and riot.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Bobby Petrino, cause he's got to coach the game. Plus, he's already married, though, we suppose, that's neither here nor there...
Weekend of Saturday, October 11 - vs. Florida State Seminoles
Should You Have Your Wedding: Maybe. You might be doing Syracuse fans a favor by distracting them from this one. Sure, they'll pout. They'll whine. They'll say they have to watch because they believe in miracles. But when they check the score on their smartphone during the ceremony, they'll realize that not watching the game was the best wedding present you ever could have given them.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: The staff at Faegan's. They're going to be busy taking care of everyone.
Weekend of Saturday, October 18 - at. Wake Forest Demon Deacons
Should You Have Your Wedding: No. This is a winnable ACC game. What's wrong with you?
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Anyone in North Carolina.
Weekend of Saturday, October 25 - at Clemson Tigers
Should You Have Your Wedding: Maybe? See State, Florida.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Anyone in South Carolina. Anyone who works at a Denny's. (These are both applicable any weekend, really).
Weekend of Saturday, November 1 - vs. N.C. State Wolfpack
Should You Have Your Wedding: This is a winnable ACC game. If you schedule a wedding this weekend, I hope everyone gifts you the same set of dishes and you're left with 200 sets of the same dishes and you have to deal with that.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Good, honest, working class Americans.
Weekend of Saturday, November 8 - vs. Duke Blue Devils
Should You Have Your Wedding: I don't care how good (or not good) they are, it's Duke. Whatever the sport, we have to support our team in their effort to defeat Duke. You know this. God know this. He/she/it is totally cool with it.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Orange-blooded folk.
Weekend of Saturday, November 15 - Bye Week
Should You Have Your Wedding: Yes! Bye Week. Go forth and schedule your wedding! Send your invitations! Let us know what hotel we can get 10% off at! Force us to buy plane tickets and rent cars and buy gifts and pay for meals all so we can meet your minimum standard of goodness! Hooray!
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Fans of the Fightin' Byes.
Weekend of Saturday, November 22 - at Pittsburgh Panthers
Should You Have Your Wedding: The odds that this game pits two 5-5 teams against one another are HIGH. Bowl eligibility is on the line. I know it sounds painfully dull to need to watch Pitt football, but, we need to watch Pitt football. No.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Pittsburgh-area people. Bruce Willis's character from Striking Distance.
Weekend of Saturday, November 29 - at Boston College Eagles
Should You Have Your Wedding: It's the weekend of Thanksgiving. What kind of emotion-sucking monster are you that you want to own that weekend? The Syracuse-BC rivalry is heating up from all angles and chances are somebody is going to fighting for their post-season lives and/or positioning. This is a must-watch and your wedding is a must-miss. NO.
Who Absolutely Can't Have Their Wedding: Humans.
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