FanPost

A Nickname for Trevor Cooney: White Snake?

Let's talk about the orange elephant in the room: Trevor Cooney's need for a compelling nickname. After this season's stellar start, we now know this kid is a special player and will soon win the Cuse a title, marry Boeheim's daughter, become G-Mac's assistant coach, and pitch cars for Billy Fucillo.

Abbreviations and initials are the shortcuts to nicknames sure, but Trevor Cooney takes the road less traveled and sprints it uphill both ways. So we're not settling for TC-3, which is also too easily confused with Tompkins Cortland Community College. As for Cooooon--well there is something off-putting about 27,000 mostly white folks serenading 10 mostly black kids with that word. And we're more clever than that (suck it Green Bay Kuhn fans).

So without further ado, here are my suggestions:

Renaissance Man

Not just a one trick-3-point pony, Cooney can do it all. He rains from all over, drives the lane, does his careful but authoritative two-hand dunk, rebounds, assists, and scraps and steals on defense.

Ideally he would also shoot in warm-ups wearing something like this:

Robin Hood: Men In Tights (via foxhomeent)

Trevor Snow

As tempting as it is call him the Young (Teen) Wolf I think Trevor Snow is more befitting for the Lord of the Three, Defender of the Zone, and Bastard Son of G-Mac (unverified) You just know Cooney is a Game of Thrones fan, and while he's no Robb Stark, he's certainly a key bannerman leading the north against the southron knights of the ACC. (Krzywzewski = Tywin Lannister). Plus it snows in Syracuse. A lot.

Deadliest Catch

Cause when he gets the rock, he's straight killing it. And he's a tough blue-collar hard-hat lunch-box gritty player who would be at home toasty on a leaky rocking boat in the freezing night in middle of the Bering Sea.

White Snake

First there was the Black Mamba, then the Red Mamba Matt Bonner, and now it's time for White Snake. Because this kid doesn't just strike like lightning, he slithers around screens like Solid Snake sneaking up on a terrorist.

Also like Solid Snake, he possesses an IQ of 180, is fluent in six languages, and is known as "the man who makes the impossible possible." Also Snake Plissken. Also, this video.

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again (via WhitesnakeVEVO)

Now Cooney just needs to grow his hair down to his shoulders and maybe get a perm. Then, when he enters the dome on senior night microphone in hand, White Snake will indeed go again, but not on his own, for we will all be there for the ride.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician

You must be a member of Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician. You should read them.

Join Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician

You must be a member of Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker