Scott Shafer was introduced as the 29th head coach of Syracuse Orange football. And boy oh boy, he did not disappoint.
Not only did Shafer thrown down on his newfound catchphrase but he also cursed, openly threatened the lives of multiple people and basically kicked ass in a way that I don't think we've ever seen a Syracuse head coach kick ass. At least not since the days of Coach Mac:
Here now are the ten best moments from what is already a legendary press conference.
1) I counted at-least six "hard-nosed" references. We're beyond catchphrase at this point. I think he just works that into every sentence he can. "Honey, thank you for passing the peas. It was a real hard-nosed effort."
2) "DOCTOR Daryl Gross..." Is Scott reading TNIAAM after all?
3) "They're hard-nosed people who work their ass off." - Shafer on the people of Syracuse. HEAVENS TO BETSY!
4) "I envision an offense with a lot of juice. A lot of Orange juice...I want this team to be an offensive unit that when you come and watch them play you better not take a bathroom break. Cause there's gonna be a lot of juice on the field." I don't exactly know what that means but I like it, even if it is a cheesy orange pun.
5) "I envision an Orange Crush defense that makes their opponent's families cringe when their child's team comes to play us." Scott Shafer just threatened the parents of our opponents. That's amazing.
6) "I envision a Dome that shakes and intimidates. And when we get the opposition in the Loud House, we lock the doors behind them and we don't let them out for 60 minutes or more, whatever it takes. They are locked in the Dome and we don't let them escape..."West Virginia came in here a year ago. They were talkin'. We locked 'em in the Dome and beat the hell out of them." I am scared for Tulane, you guys.
7) "At the end of the day, I want guys who want to play for us...All those [SU recruits] who are wavering, they just better make a decision to go to a place where they're not gonna play us." GOODNESS.
8) Shafer almost losing it when taking about his family and then his Dad. Behind all this fire is a pretty good guy.
9) "We want to put the fear God in the opposing football player that has the football under his arm."
10) "We're gonna go to the damn ACC and we're gonna storm that conference and do better than people think we are in Year One." GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
Before this press conference, I made a joke about how I hope no players actually run through a wall for Shafer. Now? SHOW ME WHERE THIS WALL IS!